Pride

Too proud.

When people want to walk out of my life, I tend to let them.
Even if it breaks my heart.
I'm too proud to tell them stay, don't leave me. I need you.

Maybe if I'd shelved that pride even once, just maybe, I wouldn't be so alone right now.



Please God, send me someone who will stay for me without being asked.



~vid~

Shallow #2

Well firstly cuz you have been watching too many movies and watching too many cute guys plus being in a dreamworld in which medicine has no place unless siddarth is the doct and you are his patient.

I meant siddarth the actor.


The comment that sparked off the completely random rant below.

I am fed up okay.
I don't need this judgmental crap.


~vid~

Shallow

For all my faults, I didn't think anyone considered me shallow.

But they do.


If crushing on cute celebrities is shallow, then yes, I am shallow.

If telling my friends that I want to get married, is shallow, then yes, I am shallow.

If daydreaming about white knights and faraway castles in an attempt to take my mind off studying is shallow, then yes, I am shallow.

If not checking out any male doctors except the fictional ones on tv is shallow, then yes, I am shallow.

If wanting to end up with someone who doesn't do medicine is shallow, then yes, I am unfuckingbelievably shallow.



I'm one of those girls who grew up believing in Disney,
believing in princes,
believing in soulmates,
believing in happily ever afters.

And the real world has taught me that happily ever afters do exist, if you work at it enough.
The real world taught me that its okay for soulmates to agree to disagree,
that princes may not always be perfect human beings but it doesn't matter as long as they're perfect for you,
that Disney, if nothing else, shone some hope into this bleak existence.

If that makes me shallow, then yes, I am shallow.



I want to fall in love, I want to get married.
I think guys on tv are cute.

Will you deny you're just as superficial as I am?



~vid~

Matthew Lewis

Because he's grown into such a hottie,
and because I've been staring at this picture all day :

SO ADORBZ.

This picture also has to be here ok :



WHY ARE THERE FOUR OF HIM.
IS HE PLAYING FOUR ROLES IN THE MOVIE OR WHAT.
WHY HASN'T THE SYNOPSIS COME OUT YET.
ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME OR.

p.s. Apparently half the shooting was done in Malaysia.

Or is going to be done in Malaysia.

Or is currently going on in Malaysia.

aaaaaaaaah I dunno! Why are you so close yet so far, bb?
*cries*




yep.
End of blog post.

9am is a ridiculous time to have revision classes during a study break ok bye.


~vid~

Worn out

Oh my godddddd dah start la these kindergarten kids behind my house...

Kiri kanan, kiri kanan, kiri kanan....cukup ke tempat nak kawad kat dalam compound tu?
gaaaaaaaaaah.
Never get to sleep in in Seremban man, thanks to those kids.


So tired.
So fed up of studying.
Spent one whole day just trying to study panic disorder.

meh.

Should have just scrapped psych and tried studying ortho instead. At least its so much more interesting.
Never-ending, but at least I can stay awake reading it.
Psych is just..



I don't feel like EOP is tomorrow.
Probably cos we're done with Viva, and MCQ is today,
and.... AAAAAAH CAN THEY JUST GIVE US A BREAK.
SO MANY EXAMS LA.




Good morning, everybody.



~vid~

The Printer Story

I haven't embarrassed myself in a while, right?

So lai lai, let me tell you all about my blonde moment today.





Been having some problems with my CFCS report (as usual)...
and I couldn't complete it last night, due to those problems,
so I had to finish it up in uni during lunch so I could print it out and hand it in today.

Except.
I've never actually printed anything in IMU before.

So I have absolutely no idea how to use the printers.

Nevertheless,
I went and got my printing ID from the librarian
and she was all "tak pernah print la ni"
*ahem*
and then I got Manichelvi to teach me how to send the document to the printer and how to get it printed.

Seemed easy enough.


So I typed out my report.
Sent it for printing.
Walked to the printer, put paper in,
logged in...

And then nothing happened. No paper came back out.

So I tried again.

Nothing.

Then I check the job list...no pending documents.



So then I acknowledge that I'm a total noob right, so I went to the librarian, and asked him to help.

So he went over, sent it for printing again,
went back to the printer,
logged in,
set it to print all,
and then went back to his seat...
...and I'm waiting for it to print...

...and still no paper comes out.


Then Zia walks by, and I'm all don't leave meeeee I'm having a crisis!

I was about to wail in despair ok, because the stupid thing just wouldn't print.


So I went to the librarian again.
And he went through the whole thing again.

And this time he's still standing there after he sets it to print all,

and Zia's suddenly like "eh why is there so much paper down there?"

And I'm like "huh, down where?"


And she reaches down to this tray coming out from the middle of the machine, and pulls out this sheaf of paper.
Comprising about 5 copies of my report.

.
.
.
The whole time I'd just been standing there waiting for paper to shoot out of the top part of the machine.

Not once did it occur to me that the printed documents would appear in the tray in the middle of the stupid machine.
I didn't even know there was a tray there!
psh.



The librarian must have thought I was the bimbo-est person on the planet or something omg.



Never printing in the library again.
Even if my life depends on it.


So embarrassing.






And as if I hadn't embarrassed myself enough already,
after collecting my excessively printed documents, I go hunt for Mhirah and Jovann at the tables near the bookshelves,
and they happen to be sitting at the same table as him.

And as I pass him to get to my seat, he smiles. (whee :DDDDDD)

And then of course, being the absolute nut that I am, I have to relate my story to Mhirah and Jovann,
and of course they both laugh at me,
and they count the number of copies I ended up printing, and they laugh some more,
and I end up giving half of it to them for rough paper.

And the whole time he's just sitting there playing with his phone, listening to everything.

And I don't realise it until I stand up to leave and he looks up and smiles again,
and I'm like.
oh. dammit. He must've heard the entire thing!



gaaaaah.

Well done, Vidya.




On another completely random note,
just two weeks ago, I was complaining to Manichelvi about how I didn't have anyone to crush on in uni.

And now I have. :)

Only until this Saturday, but so far its been worth it.

p.s. He also smiled at me during lunch. Such a smiley boy. :D




~vid~

Level-headed

It happens.

People come into my life, I fall for them, they leave.
How many times has this happened before?

This time, like every other time before,you're leaving.

Time to take off the rose-coloured glasses,
put away all my fancy notions,
and accept it.

You'll leave. And I'll be left behind, just like every other time.

I can be level-headed about this.
Yes I can.

I cannot fall apart about this. Not right now.
And I won't.

Level-headed.
I can do this.



~vid~

No1

So research is finally over.

It's been a horrible couple of days, staying up til 4am trying to figure out how to calculate stuff on SPSS,
making plans to meet with our mentor and having him cancel them because he was too busy,
finally getting him to review the whole report today, and then having him want corrections done 2 hours before the deadline.

I'm just glad it's over.

I can breathe again.

Although, not really.
5 weeks, and then all hell breaks loose again.

Where has the time gone?

The last time I checked I had two months to study for EOS, now I'm left with 5 weeks?!




I just want a really long holiday.




Thinking of starting a scrapbook.
I get to give in to my love of pretty things, my obsession with stationery, and my incessant need to create something. :D
Not many people actually realize how obsessed I am with buying pretty notebooks and coloured pencils that I never really need.

The bucket list is well under way.

I think all this is stemming from a need to break away from medicine,
to prove my life still can include other things.
:/





You know you're quite far gone when you alternate between smiling and making weird strangled noises everytime you hit "show desktop".
I dont think anybody will understand my love for Michael Fassbender.

I dont think Michael Fassbender will understand my love for Michael Fassbender.


And that makes me very sad indeed.




OH OH OH AND DJO BECOMES WORLD NO1!
SO HAPPY.
I nearly died when Tsonga won the third set, but the fourth set was wonderful.
And he's in the Wimbledon final.
And he's world no 1.
And everything is peaches. :D


So I don't know how the scoring system works, and I don't understand why Nadal won't still be World No 1 if he wins Wimbledon,
but I dont care.
For now, Djo is No 1, and even if that is only going to last for half an hour I am still very happy.
And very proud.

yep.




I have just realised that I am both Indian and Malaysian and yet I don't seem to have patriotic tendencies to either of those countries.
odd.



~vid~