Valentine's Day! ...and other stories.

I've been spending the last few minutes trying to figure out why my neighbour has been uncharacteristically blasting random love songs on the radio all morning.

..

..and then it hits me.

*insert facepalm gif here...wait I have a facepalm gif*

yep.

...It's Valentine's Day!

*throws confetti around ...don't have a gif for that unfortunately*

I'm one of those souls who actually really likes Valentine's Day...

...usually.

I mean, everything is so pink and fluffy and everyone's so lovey-dovey, it makes you want to be all doe-eyed and dreamy and fluffy-wuffy too.

Not this year though, unfortunately.

Nope.

This year I'm quite content to spend Valentine's Day being grumpy and bitter and envious of all you people out there who have significant others to spend Val Day with.

.

.

.

...I kid, I kid.

I'm not actually grumpy.

I'm just not AAAAAHITSVALENTINESDAYLETSBUYCAKEANDCELEBRATE the way I usually am on Valentine's Day each year.

Despite my love for the occasion, it's finally dawned on me that I've never really had a Valentine's Day date in all my 22 years.
I've had impromptu ones, sure...and random 'presents', but I've never actually spent it with someone who took time off their schedule to actually ask me out on a date. For V Day.

..I'm rambling, aren't I?

Yes I am.

Right.

So.

Moving onnnn...

Remember how I was all emo the other day, and went to find Ali Zafar songs to cheer myself up..

..that man has the voice of an angel, I swear (have I mentioned this before?)..

...and I came across the London Paris New York title track!

I do not know how I managed to listen to all the other songs from the movie,

without listening to the title track.

I mean what.

Right, so anyway, I listened to it the other day,

and I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

I've been silly dancing around my room to it ever since.

And when I say silly dancing I don't mean like the cute kind of silly dancing people do in the movies (I can't move along to a rhythm to save my life)

I mean like silly silly dancing.

Like

yep.

His hair is ridiculous (but I still love it so),

and their dance moves amuse me so much for some reason.

Love the lyrics though.
And his voice, as always, is just...sigh bb y u so talented :/

Officially my new pick-me-up song.
And if someone ever sang this to me to cheer me up, I'd marry them on the spot.
I kid you not.

Honestly can't wait for the movie to be out (eventhough I don't really have any high expectations for it)
March 2nd, apparently.
Let's hope they show it in a cinema here. *fingers crossed*

Let's also hope I manage to find some kind soul who'd come along with me to watch this if they show it in a cinema here.

It'd be decidedly sad to go alone for a movie like this.

Very sad indeed.

I've got another yoga class later this evening.
Not looking forward to it AT ALL.

I'm not terribly fond of this yoga teacher (IHATEYOUYOUEVILDEVILSPAWNFROMHELL) to be honest.
I mean, I did call her up in December to tell her I wanted to take a one-month yoga class.

And she was all "yeah sure no problem just come whenever"
And I really did want to continue after this one month ended,
...it's not my fault she doesn't have classes on Friday nights or weekends!
And I can't keep coming back from Seremban midweek for some lousy yoga class ok.

So she's not happy about the fact that I'm going only for barely a month,

and she's not being too nice to me about it either.

But oh whattheheck.

It's another 7 classes and I'm done with it for electives.

Seriously considering going back to Dr Suresh for yoga classes on weekends though.
Used to go in 2008, but stopped because my friends stopped,

and because I was too lazy.

Might've actually continued going if he wasn't so far away in PJ though.

...or not. Because I would still have been too lazy.

-_-

But no, this time I'm dragging my brother and my sister-in-law along, and we are starting yoga again.

yes.

ok.

I actually wanted to blog about this new book I was reading the other day, which I've completely fallen in love with.

...but I kinda want that to have a whole post by itself instead of just being part of this obligatory (not really, I just wanted to blog) Valentine's day post,

so I'll probably write about that either tonight or tomorrow.

yesh.

There was honestly something else I wanted to blog about,

something was playing on my mind while I was eating lunch earlier, but I seem to have forgotte...oh yes!

I remember now!

I've developed this sudden urge to cook.

I mean, okay, during Diwali last year I discovered that contrary to popular belief (read : contrary to my own low opinion of my culinary abilities), I could, in fact, bake.
Well.

I mean I can follow a recipe to a tee and come up with some pretty good results,

but saying I can bake just somehow sounds more..accomplished, somehow.

Yes, so anyway.

I can bake,

and this recent trip to Ireland made me realise that I can, in fact, make biryani.

From scratch.

We made biryani one night in Ireland, for dinner,

(did I blog about this? I must have, I was so proud of how it turned out! ..the biryani I mean)

And it was yummy. :D

Not at all bad, for a first attempt at cooking anything from scratch :D

Which of course, brings me to the conclusion,

that I can, in fact, cook.

...and now I keep wanting to cook.

I don't know why.

I'm craving muffins.

And random potato dishes.

And.

argh.

I think I'm channeling the spirit of some food-loving ghost or something.

See, this wouldn't be a bad thing if I wasn't trying to lose weight currently.

..Not that I'm trying.

I'm pretty much just sitting around and wishing myself thin (which doesn't help at all, no matter what Law of Attraction theory you want to preach).

And I'm using my sorethroat *cough cough* as an excuse (to myself) to avoid starting running again.

I don't know why I lie to myself so much.

It's a shame.

Oh but yes,

(I tend to go all over the place when I'm blogging, don't I? Shows how much of a mess my mind is in...I should take up meditation or something)

this sudden need to cook would not at all fit in with my plans of somehow miraculously growing thin over the next two weeks...

...so I'm faced with a dilemma.

I want to cook.

But I don't want to eat.

But I'm not one of those people who can't eat what I cook.

I can eat what I cook/bake...eat alot of it, at that, too.

So if I cook, then I will eat.

Alot.

And that won't make me thinner.

(not that sitting around blogging about growing thinner is going to make me any thinner either, but whatever)

So I can't cook.

But I want to.

See the problem?

Oh btw,

this is a picture of the biryani I made. :D

And Sanjana's chicken sambal.

And the makeshift raita we made using lemon-flavoured yoghurt (seriously don't ever use flavoured-yoghurt for raita, it's awful)

Doesn't it look pretty?

*ahem*

And.

aaaaaah okay so I can't think of anything else I wanted to say.

ok.

end of blog post.

I will tryyy to regain some semblance of quality and write a proper blog post the next time.

Key word : try.

ok.

~vid~

Moar rants

So its only been 4 days since my last blog post,

but it feels like its been forever,

and so this is an obligatory blog post for whoever is worried about not having heard from me in the past 4 days or so.

(at least I'm pretending there are people who are worried ok so shut up and let me pretend)

I've been sick.

I'm diagnosing it as laryngitis.

Which sucks, because in addition to feeling like complete shit,
I've also lost my voice and developed a nocturnal wheeze which requires me to use my inhaler.

I don't like using my inhaler.

And I sure as hell don't like losing my voice.

I'm feeling much better today though.

Past 3 days were hell.

I pretty much spent all my days waking up late, curling up for the most part of the day with my storybook, dozing off in between because I've been taking so many meds, and yeah.

Thats it.

Add to that all the negative emotions that comes with being sick,

and there you have it.

Grumpy, wheezy Vidya.

Most of the negativity has been directed at my family though,

who seem to have newly developed the idea that future doctors shouldn't be treated with TLC when they're sick.

Oh no, all that is only reserved for the poor, pathetic, non-doctor members of the family.

I mean, why on earth would a sick medical student need any loving attention right?

Let's just ignore the fact she's sick, so she'll snap out of it and get better faster right?

God, I hate my family.

I seemed to like them alot more when I was 12393924385 miles away in Ireland.

Then again, in Ireland I seemed to like everybody else alot more too.

I'm just wallowing in self-pity here. Don't mind me.

I've also been steadfastly avoiding checking my emails (sorry Michelle!) because I don't want to see emails from IMU,

and I don't want to talk to anybody from IMU,

and ...I'm just running away here, really, can you tell?

Everytime I think about going back,

I think...Sem 9.

EOS 9.

Finals.

Shit.

4 years hasn't made my loathing of medicine any less.

The minor postings were fun though.
But to think of going back to the major ones... Surgery, Internal Med, Paeds.

Just shoot me now and enddddd this misery.

I know I should get around to writing my reports,

and getting stuff in order for Seremban,

and you know, just generally getting off my sorry, sick butt and doing something actually productive before I end up in Seremban regretting throwing my last two weeks of hols away just like that.

But tonight,

I'm inclined to just wallow.

If only this wretched sickness would go away!

I think I should go listen to some Ali Zafar now.

I haven't heard his voice in 4 days.

Maybe I need a pick-me-up.

yep.

If all else fails, rely on your non-existent celebrity boyfriend to make you feel better with his angel voice!

I am such a sad person its not even funny.

roar!
cough.

wheeze.

Okay goodnight.

~vid~

Back home.

HELLO I AM HOME!
:D

Well, technically we came home today morning at 1am, but. yeah.

The last week or so in India was alot better than the earlier few days to be honest.

Despite my initial misgivings, being with my mum's relations was really nice.
:)
I'm glad we didn't stay in a hotel instead.

I think it's mostly because my malayalam has improved alot, so communicating with them is much much easier than it used to be.

I still don't like my immediate family very much.

I miss Indian tv.

Was watching Teja Bhai and Family earlier,

and I squealed at the last part when I saw Rajeev Pillai on my screen.

I don't know why I squealed.

o.O
I think it was the excitement of recognizing him.

Sometimes when I see all these insanely talented actors/sports celebrities,

I get really sad because I feel super unaccomplished.

But then I remind myself that in a year or so (touchwood) I'll be a doctor,

and then I feel much better.

And then people like Rajeev Pillai come along...actor, model, cricketer AND dentist.

-____-

And I feel unaccomplished all over again.

Current favourite song :

No matter how chubby Chackochen (the guy in the video...his real name is Kunchacko Boban btw) gets, I'll always love him. :3
Bit upsetting that he had a negative character in this movie though.
:(

Incohesive post.

I keep jumping from one thing to another, but my mind really can't stay on just one thing right now.

I'll blog properly one of these days when I get enough time to sit down and collect my thoughts properly before writing.

Nightnight!

~vid~

Holiday Rant

Currently checking out the new songs from London Paris New York.

They were apparently released yesterday or today or something.
I'm behind times here thanks to the lack of internet.

Not tooooo fond of the songs just yet, except Voh Dekhnay,

but maybe the rest will grow on me.

No one I know is online. sigh.

But then again its almost 1am and I have to be up by 5am, so I suppose its best that I don't get carried away talking to people online.

I don't get why we're calling this a holiday when we have to be up by 6am everyday.

-_-

I thought holidays meant you got to sleep in at least once in awhile.
At this rate I'm going to need a holiday to recover from this holiday.

The hotel we have today is crap.

Its the kind of hotel that tries too hard to be all cool and trendy, and fails miserably.

The bathroom is ridiculous.

It has a glass wall.

A glass wall.

A fucking clear glass wall through which you can see right into the bedroom itself.

And vice versa.

And the only "saving grace" it has is a semi-transparent white curtain.

...thats supposed to give you some semblance of privacy apparently.

It's damn wtf.

I understand some people have these kind of bathrooms in their homes but that's different.

You shouldn't have it in hotels.

I fucking have to share the room with my parents for god's sake.
I've resorted to getting everyone to clear out of the room and locking the bedroom door everytime I want to take a shower.

Which is honestly fucking inconvenient.

I mean, why would anyone want a bathroom like that in the first place?

Think about it,

even if I was newlywed and on a honeymoon with my spouse and I was in the mood for some sexytime, then I'd join him in the shower instead of sitting in the bedroom and watching him shower through a fucking glass wall.

What kind of weird fetish crap is that anyway?

I suppose I should be thankful this hotel at least has wi-fi.

-_-

The punjabi track from LPNY isn't too bad.

I still have more things to rant about.

Like my dad's cousin.

Whom I absolutely cannot stand.

I've ranted about him before, maybe a couple of years ago.

Dude has absolutely no concept of personal space which annoys the fuck out of me.

I have HUGE issues when it comes to personal space ok.

But that's not the issue I have with him this time around.

We went to a temple today,

and after the prayers were done, I was standing outside with him, waiting for the rest of the family to follow,

and he tries to make conversation.

...which goes like this :

Did you use any cream to make your skin dark?

Excuse me?

Your face...it's so dark! Did you use some cream or something you're allergic to?

... (at this point I'm like wtf the rest of me is the same colour what are you on about)

You never used any cream?

No.

You were like this from birth? You were born dark-skinned?

....OH NO. I WAS BORN ALL WHITE THEN ONE DAY I DECIDED TO ROLL AROUND IN MUD AND I ENDED UP STAYING THIS COLOUR.

NO SHIT.

-_-

My colour is also a sensitive point with me.

...comes with being the subject of racism for a good part of my early life.

Okay,

so my "holiday" isn't totally shit.

I mean, for the most part it is shit,

but there was this one day we went to the National Park, which involved a good long walk up a mountain.
That was a lot of fun. I like mountains.

Plus everyone was too tired and kept stopping here and there so I ended up walking about three quarters of the way up by myself.

That was nice.

Although there was apparently some college tour on the same day, from a boys college,

so there were loads of boys my age all over the place,

and they would comment on my hair, my jeans, my shoes, etc etc as I passed them.

-_-

You know how in some Indian movies, there's this one girl who comes from overseas and she's dressed different and she behaves different and everyone stands around and stares at her?

...I'm that girl.

I was honestly quite tempted to walk up to them and go like

"Just because I'm obviously not from around here doesn't mean I don't understand perfectly well every single thing you're saying"

I probably would've done it....'cept it wasn't like the comments were bad or anything.

Appreciative, more like.

ahem.

:D

And then there was this other day we went on the houseboat (day before yesterday I think, I'm losing track of time),

which was fun.

Just cruising along the river.

That was really nice.

I like water.

And then yesterday we went to the beach and stayed at this really nice hotel.

And had really nice food.

(which no one liked except for me...I'm destined to always be the black sheep here apparently)

The only problem was that our rooms were too far from the main building and so we didn't have wi-fi.

But the beach was nice.

yep.

We're going to my mother's relations' house tomorrow.

Will be staying there for the next few days.

Not looking forward to that at all.

I'd rather be in a hotel, no matter how crap it is.

I've also come to realise that I've automatically categorized all these people in India into "Mum's relations" and "Dad's relations"

They're not my relations.

lol.

Well, at least..not yet.

Not for a long time yet.

Also, during all the temple visits and checking into hotels and walks up the mountains..

..I couldn't help but wish I had someone here with me.

I don't actually have anyone proper in mind right now, so my fantasies currently involve Poor Lost Sheep Boy (I'll write about him proper when I get home).

But ugh.

just.

I hate being the odd one out.

Dear Future Husband,

Hurry up and show up already! I've been waiting for you for so long!

It's 1.15 now.

huh. Funny how time passes by faster when you're ranting.

I really should sleep.

Nightnight.

~vid~

Insomnia

I hate my family.

I really do.

Its occurred to me that in the past 3 days that we've been in India, I've laughed maybe once.

Once.
Whereas in Ireland I used to laugh myself silly everyday.

Fuck, even in Seremban I laughed more often.

Just, somehow, being around my family drains me.

It takes up too much energy just dealing with them and their stupid moods that I'm too tired to fake being happy at the end of the day.

Plus, my parents really need a wake-up call. I'm 22 this year, for fuck's sake.

I should be able to fucking decide what I want to wear and what I want to eat.

Fucking hell.

Every fucking day it's been

"Don't wear that! Wear the other one"

"Don't eat that, what's wrong with you. Eat thaaaat one. Eat more. You need to eat more what do you mean you're not hungry just shut up and eat"

Fuck you.

Fuck this.

I need to go home.

No.

I need to get away from this family.

I do.

I'm much happier when I only have to see them on weekends.

~vid~

The Poor Lost Sheep Boy - The Story

You don't need someone to take care of you
You're so headstrong!

- Rachel, when I was mulling over whether lost sheep were really my type or not.

This post might be completely incoherent/non-cohesive because I keep getting interrupted.
Between the first quote and now I've already been interrupted twice,
keep getting asked to make coffee for the whole family.
I really am turning into the (almost)perfect Indian housewife.

And now I'm going to get interrupted again because I'm starving and breakfast just got done.

yesh.

*

...okay so I typed out everything above at 7am,

and now its currently 2am, the next day.

14-hour interruption, yo.

I'm actually really sleepy,

and I've just watched the new Once Upon A Time episode, and I really want to squeal about that instead,

but.

I am leaving to India in approximately 10 hours,

and if I don't write about Poor Lost Sheep Boy now, I will not write about him at all (and I want to)

I can't possibly muse about lost sheep while in India, considering I'm sharing a hotel room with my parents.

Probably going to sound really messed up and not at all like how I planned it to sound in my head, but here goes..

*

...on second thought (and don't kill me you guys, I know how potong stim this is),

I'll write about him at a time when I've gotten over the regret a little bit more.

I still regret not getting to know him.

So much.

So, so much.

I'm probably the only person on this planet with a penchant of falling in love with people I don't really know.

But as that tarot-reader-lady told me :

"Keep your innocence, child. And keep your heart open to love. You'll find it soon. Don't lose hope"

yep.

~vid~

The Poor Lost Sheep Boy

I can't believe I left without getting to know him.

So many things feel like heartbreak, don't they?

Like when you're so close to achieving something you never knew you wanted until it was placed right in front of you,

and then it dances out of your reach and slips away through your fingers like water.

Some regrets last a lifetime.
This one will.

On another note,

HELLO EVERYBODY I AM BACK HOMEEEEEEEEEEE!

...and severely jet-lagged, so goodnight :)

~vid~

Sanjanaaaaaaa control your emotionsssssss

TWIG : Last day in NUIG

Well, hello.

Internet's still not fixed yet at home, so I'm blogging from uni again.
This will probably be the last blog post from Galway.
Actually, the last blog post from outside Malaysia..my transit in Amsterdam is only an hour or so, so I probably wouldn't blog then.
yep.

I've got all this heaviness in my heart and head right now, so this blog post might not make any sense at all..


I hate adjusting.
I do.
I hate it.
I didn't react very well to first coming here because it was so different from back home, and all I wanted to do was get on the next plane and run back to somewhere familiar.

And then I didn't like the hospital at all at first.

And then,
I got used to it.
To the cold,
to my housemates,
to Galway town,
to walking around everywhere,
to the hospital,
to the PC suite at uni.

And now I can't imagine going back at all.

I'm not sure how I'm going to react to going back to being all alone in my big room at home,
or dealing with my family (whom I haven't properly talked to since I came here)
or getting on another plane on Wednesday and going to India,
and after all that,
just going back to my humdrum routine,
and after that, going back to Seremban.
And entering final year.

It's all just a big jumbled mess in my head.




And my life plans have been messed up slightly too.
I'm the kind of person who likes planning out my future (eventhough I know half the time the plans never follow through...like how I'd always dreamt of being a hotshot lawyer - look where I ended up!)
And my plan was always to work in Malaysia after graduation, and then specialise as soon as possible, and then continue working with the government in whichever state.
..
but now..
I mean, I do think we get better exposure back home and all,
but I like living here.
Overseas.
I suppose I'd be okay with working here as well, so I'd really quite like to move here.
And that of course, would upset my plans completely.
I'm horribly confused.

Of course, when I do go back, I might love Malaysia so much again that I never want to leave.

I don't know.
Just so much confusion right now.


aaaah.
I should probably write about all that's been happening here instead of going off on my own tangent about my insecurities, aye?

Not much to write about really, because I'm in full emo mode (I REALLY don't want to leave just yetttt)
...and my housemate has just come back to the PC suite because her tutorial has been cancelled,
so I'm being interrupted in the middle of blogging yet againnnn
(this is why I can't be bothered blogging in uni really, otherwise I'd have blogged obsessively everyday)


When I get back I'll blog about how sexist GerFla is (that handsome gay professor),
and I will write at length about the Poor Lost Sheep Boy (prev known as The cute boy in Galway)

AND THIS HOUSEMATE OF MINE WANTS TO GO TOWN RIGHHHTT NOWWWW so I have to stop here ok bye.


~vid~

p.s. She's also planting weird sexual fantasies in my head about Poor Lost Sheep Boy so I'd better log off for my own sanity. ahem.

TWIG : Random post that I can't think up a title for

Hai.

So currently I'm in the pc suite at uni, using the internet because we still don't have internet at home.
Could've blogged here the past few days, but it really is too public,
and I've already somehow managed to embarass myself on a few occasions here already.

But I'm really bored today (it's my day off! ..but I really need the internet ok) and hungry and rather sleepy because the 3 in1 Nescafe honestly is crap and has probably the bare minimum of caffeine, so right now I don't care if anyone reads what I'm typing.
Kalau nak kepo sgt baca, baca lah.



Just hit me today morning that this is my last weekend here.
:(
Kinda upsetting, to be honest.
I've grown used to the house here, and the uni, and the weather. It'd be kind of odd to go back home,
maybe also because I'm so used to hanging out with Yan Qi's housemates now,
that when I go back it'd be rather depressing to just be all alone in my room.
I mean I'd have the internet and I could go back to my Ali Zafar stalking, but.
..it'd just be rather sad, you know.
Not having my friends around.
I never quite felt it when I used to come back from Seremban because I never really hung out with my housemates there.
Or at least I didn't hang out with them as much as I hang out with these people.

But with that being said,
I do miss home.
Sort of.

I miss HTJ, I miss IMU (I know right, like wth happened to me??)
and given a choice, I'd always pick Seremban over Galway for clinicals,
but
I'd like to have studied here.
Maybe not medicine, maybe something else.
Maybe law.

It's always been a dream of mine to go to university in the UK.

And I suppose, it did come true if only for three weeks.
That's something I should be happy about.




Anyway, so we're going to Connemara tomorrow, and the Cliffs of Moher on Sunday
(or is the other way around?)
so that should be alot of fun :D
I'm more interested in the Cliffs to be honest.
whee!



What else can I blog about?
oooh Dr Gerard Flaherty!
Affectionately (or not) known as GerFla to the students here.

I had to email him once before coming here,
and despite Jovann telling me he was rather young,
I'd always had this image of a rather stout, stocky man with greying hair and a serious face...
...
...I could not have been more wrong.
GerFla is probably around 35,
and handsomeeeeee! (well, I'm the only one who thinks so but wtv)
And he's rather nice,
(gives us personal tutorials and everything. ahemmm)
But apparently he's gay.
-_-
I'm just jinxed that way.
pfft.
:(



Aaaaah now we're going for lunch and I'm distracted again, so I'm going to stop here.
I'll write about this cute boy in Galway in another post :D
There is a cute boy in Galway *wink wink*


Toodles~


~vid~