Regrets

the holidays are ending.
today IS technically the last day of our super-short holidays. and i have no mood to do anything.
i might even go so far as to say i am bored. (like jea mie).
but thats no true. im not bored. i can think of at least 10 things i want to do right now.
i just have no mood to get off my butt and go do them.
because the holidays are ending. and we're going back to the grindstone tomorrow.
and this is when regret starts to set in. why regret?
1. i still haven't touched ANY homework.
2. my physics presentation is still only halfway done.
3. i have to get my presentation over with by wednesday.
4. i have two IELTS workbooks at home, borrowed from TUCSJ library, which i havent looked through.
5. my IELTS exam is on this thursday and this saturday.
6. trials are in less than a months time.
7. trial results are extremely important for university applications.
8. i havent started studying for trials.
9. maths common test 4 comes before trials.
10. i dont get matrices. so there goes maths CT 4.
11. i dont understand chem. i can study chem for about two years, and i would still only score 60%.
12. i dont pay attention in physics. so its about as good as my chem.
13. bio is the one subject i do relatively well in. i hate my bio teacher. im worried about karma.
14. if i dont get good results, i cant do medicine.
15. if i cant do medicine, then i dont know wat to do with my life. ive wanted to be a doctor since i was four. (*before that i wanted to grow up and become a rabbit*)
16. im wasting time sitting here and blogging.
17. i cant stop listening to this japanese song.
18. im wasting brain space and time trying to memorise japanese lyrics.

sigh. sad sad story of my life.
ive realised that i do have mood swings.
im just very good at pretending i dont.

blehh. i really dont feel like going back to college. not even after this well-deserved holiday.
i was so hyper in the beginning, now im so.. wats the word.. lethargic?
and ive noticed that after more than 3 days of holiday, im more prone to start speaking in malayalam than in english. and it takes my brain some time to translate before i can say wat i want to say, properly, in english.
which is why its taking me forever to type out this post.
damn.

and there have been so many funerals in my family this year.

~vid~