Letters - Part III

(Part II was deleted)

Hey you
...again.

I can only assume you don't read my blog anymore. I don't want you reading this anyway.
So here I go again, pouring out all the things I can never tell you face to face. Isn't it ironic how I could always announce to the rest of the world what I could never tell you?
Not that it actually matters anymore.
I have no idea where to start actually. Do I start by emo-ing about how I thought we were always going to stay friends? Or do I get riled up about how you just walked away?
The thing is, after two weeks, I don't need you back anymore.
Its not about moving on.
Its not about getting over it.
Its not about finding someone new.
Its about realising that some things were never meant to be.
Its about realising that I never was in love with you. I just loved who I was with you. I guess thats not really fair on you either, but if we were keeping score on who hurt who more, I think you'd win hands down.

You know whats the hardest part?
Theres someone in my batch who looks exactly like you. Its not fair that every morning I should be reminded of the one person I'm trying so hard to forget. I don't know him at all. But I hate him already. Because he looks like you, talks like you, walks like you, sounds like you...not fair on him either, but I dont think I matter much to him, so I shall just hate him in peace, til I can grow up enough to get over you.
Isn't that the most messed up thing you've ever heard? Goodness.
But its sheer cruelty to have him there.

The only reason I haven't yet let it all go, is because I'm not satisfied.
There's something that I still don't understand, and now I probably never will :
How could you think it was okay to give me false hope and then just turn and walk out of my life forever?

That's the one thing I need to know.

~vid~