Who am I now?

Sometimes I wonder where did it all go wrong.
How did I become this person?

There's this girl in the mirror, and I don't know who she is.
All I see in her is the mask I have to put on everyday.

I get up every morning, somehow paste on a smile...
And go out there and pretend to act witty, and funny and smart...when I'm really not.

I don't know how to act cute
or sophisticated
or popular
or responsible
or mature
or...anything for that matter.
I only know how to be me.

And today, I don't even know who I am anymore.

Truth be told, my parents are not responsible for who I am now.
For the past 8 years at least I've not told my parents alot of things.
I've not asked for their help for alot of things.
For the past 8 years, I've had to grow up on my own.
And that can make you a very bitter person.

I don't see the difference between a house and a home.
I'm cold.
I can't be bothered with things that don't affect me personally.

One of these days I'm going to turn into Christina Yang.

And yet...at the end of the day,
I'm not this cold, insensitive person.
I'm really not.

Like I said.
I don't know who I am anymore.


If I turned out to be plain and boring and stupid, would you still love me?


~vid~