Beauty

Angelic Fassy :3






It should be illegal to be so beautiful.


~vid~

Random conversations #2

Moar.

Because we're so funny.










~vid~

Random conversations

Since there are obstacles in my research that prevent me from completing it today,








Trying to take my mind off things okay.

~vid~

If you don't have it, you can't give it.

People who do not love themselves can adore others, because adoration is making someone else big and ourselves small. They can desire others, because desire comes out of a sense of inner incompleteness, which demands to be filled. But they can not love others, because love is an affirmation of the living growing being in all of us. If you don’t have it, you can’t give it.

- Andrew Matthews

oh.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?




~vid~

Acknowledgment

I just realized my name appears under the Acknowledgments section for our senior's research project!

:O

Terharunya. :')


~vid~

The Dreams

God, I hate statistics.

I wouldn't mind doing a research paper on something I was genuinely interested in,
i.e. stem cell research.
But client satisfaction?
Paired with statistics?

Why, God, why do you torture me so?



Been having a lot of vivid dreams lately,
probably for the past two weeks or so.

They mostly involve the hospital, sex (I don't know why ok, don't judge me it's my subconscious' fault), and running away.
Escaping.
Climbing over walls, hiding, just always running away from the hospital and the sex and the torture.
But never alone, there are always people running away with me.

And it never quite begins properly, you're just thrown right into the middle of the dream,
and it never quite ends.

It's like quicksand,
each time my alarm rings, I wake up ever so slightly, and then the dream rears it's ugly head and pulls me right back in.
I know I'm having a dream, I just can't get out of it.

And then when it finally ends, when it finally releases its hold on me enough for me to wake properly,
it just leaves me feeling as though someone put my brain through a meat-grinder.

Never rested.

It's driving me crazy.




And the workload never lessens.

I might go mad.



~vid~

My watch died again. :(

The trusty watch took a break?

That Boyfriend song has been stuck in my head the whole week.
The one by Big Time Rush.

They sound so boyband! Despite random Snoop Dogg rap in the beginning and the end.




And my "watch one Fassy movie a day" plan has been altered to "attempt to watch one Fassy movie a week"

oh well.

Priorities.




Did I tell you guys the story of how my watch died?

It died last Thursday,
but I was still wearing it throughout this week because it feels awfully weird to be walking around without a watch, and I don't have another one.

Took it to the watch shop on Tuesday to change the battery,
and while the lady was doing it for me,
I turned to explain the sentimental value of my watch to Manichelvi;
I've had it since I was Standard 6...that's almost ten years now, and I couldn't imagine not having it with me..

...2 seconds later the lady turns around and goes

"Jam kamu kan, bateri lama itu masih boleh guna, dan saya pakai bateri baru pun jam kamu tak jalan. Ini jam kamu punya problem la, engine rosak kot"

:O

:O

Heartbreak.

But I told her that I'd get the engine repaired in KL instead, and I continued to wear my dead watch for the rest of the week.

And then yesterday I came home, and I was telling my mother that I wanted to get the watch repaired,
and she was all

"It's such an old watch, what's the point in repairing it? Just get a new one la"

:O Blasphemy!

So I emo-ed the whole night.

And this morning when I woke up, my watch was working.

O_O


um. okay.



Hopefully it continues working.
I've been so lost for the past one week and a half :(



~vid~

Irritation

I don't understand why some people feel the need to force their opinions down other people's throats.
Especially if someone backs them up, then it just gets out of hand.

I reserve the right to my own opinions, and I don't give a shit if you do or do not approve of my tastes.
I'm not forcing you to like what I like.

So fuck off.



~vid~

Bear

I'm going to watch my A Bear Named Winnie now.

Screw studying. :p

I think I jinxed my own rajin-ness in the post earlier today.


~vid~

A Dangerous Method

So I really want to watch this movie.

Damn.
I'm going to claim I need to watch this movie to help me understand Psych better ok.
Ok.






Love the background score.


Why should we put so much effort into suppressing our most basic natural instincts?

Never repress anything.




Plus there's Viggo Mortensen!
Haven't seen him play anything except Aragorn tbh.


But Fassy! :3



~vid~

Insomnia

I am crashing.

In the past 4 days I have slept a total of 11 hours.
Total, mind you.

I don't know what I'm running on.



Class yesterday was torture.
8-5, just sitting in SR1, listening to MA Wong go on about fractures and casts and traction.

I hate air-conditioned classrooms, because you have to close all the windows and doors.
I cannot focus in enclosed spaces like that.
Even in Taylors I used to have to go walk around after every class, no joke. By the end of one hour in an air-conditioned classroom I just completely slip off the edge.
It's like quicksand.
I just completely cannot concentrate at all.
I think its because in air-cond classrooms, the air is so stagnant.

And 9 hours in the same classroom, I was going to die.



Somehow came back really late yesterday.
Slept at 2, because I wanted to read up for today's TBL.

I honestly do think I've changed.
I wanted so badly to watch A Bear Named Winnie yesterday, but I just had to study first, and then I ended up not watching the movie because studying took up so much time.

A year ago I'd have said "screw studying" and watched the movie first instead.



Someone told me on Monday that they really like my voice.
Was a bit odd, really.
And Dave yesterday was all "Vidya, your voice is actually very seductive you know"

What. No it isn't.





Dato' Siva is really weird.
I don't care how many of you think he's really nice and all..maybe he is, to you guys.
He just has something against me, I swear!
Walked past him and Dr Sheila just now, and he gave me this really weird look, and was all "Hi. How are you?" in this super sarcastic tone and with this super sarcastic smile (the kind that reminds you of the big bad wolf)
Even Dr Sheila was like wth what is this man doing.

psh.




Research is driving me crazy.
We're still not done, and we're on such a tight timeframe right now.
Gah.

So much work, so little time!




People tell you that clinical school is alot of hard work.
They tell you that you won't have much time for yourself.

What they don't tell you outright (but what they really should tell you instead) is that life as you know it ends once you enter clinical school.

Your time is not your own anymore.
Assignments come before everything else, studying comes before everything else.
Medicine, comes before everything else.


I can't even afford to make plans to go out because half the time I can't keep to them.
There's always another report to write, another exam to study for.

sigh.





I still really want to watch my movie.
And cry over it.
Thankfully I finished early today (its only 2pm right now) because I have laundry to do,
and there's more studying to be done.

But first of all, most importantly, I need to sleep.


Goodnight everybody.



~vid~

Temptation

So I tried watching bits of A Bear Named Winnie...

...I'm pretty much just making weird strangled noises everytime I see Michael Fassbender on my screen.
Which is like every 2 seconds.


I think I need to leave this for tomorrow.


Long day tomorrow.
4 classes, 8-5.
yay!





Totally do not like Ortho btw, in case I haven't mentioned it already.
I prefer it to Psych, def,
but gah the timetable is so full!
So not cool.



~vid~

um. Edit?

LOL I JUST REALISED YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING FROM THE CONVERSATION BELOW.

I couldn't be bothered editing the font la okay.
If you really kepo then go highlight the whole thing and read.

If not just move along, move along...

That's mostly on this blog for my future reference, so I can look back two years from now and marvel at what a complete nutjob I was (am).



~vid~

Of future husbands : Part 2

In which Yan Qi was the perpetrator who led me to realise that (future) love of my life was staring back at me from a computer screen,

and in which Rachel was totally supportive of my choice,

whereas Jovann, (when I told him about it today), approved of the choice but also added a "omg Vidyaaaaa I'm going to kill you, can you stop with your delusions already!"

Pfft.
What delusions.




Right.

Snippets of the conversation with Rachel yesterday,
and that's all the insight you people are getting into my marriage plans. *wink wink*
(no I'm serious I have nothing else to blog about and I'm in the mood to embarrass myself so..)

vidya pillai says

wah

like this i want arranged marriage

ahem

Rachel Cheong says

yes

ahhaha

to these boys

*ahem*

vidya pillai says

this one especially

alot in common

plus hes an engineer!

which totally fits my criteria

Rachel Cheong says

and he supports the same club

finally huh

vidya pillai says

and same music

and movies

almost

Rachel Cheong says

ooohhohohooo

oohhoohoohoo

go ask your mum!

vidya pillai says

summore study with my brother leh!

his junior!

stupid boy

why never bring people like this home!?

HE LIKES ALADDIN

duuuude why are you not married to me already?

ok la

settle

ive found my future husband

unless of course i get married to fassy first

Rachel Cheong says

so now can petition to your mum then!

tell her no need to worry about you anymore

u have found a nice indian boy

so his name is *insert name here* is it?

vidya pillai says

nice kan

Rachel Cheong says

yes quite

vidya pillai says

ok second report done

Rachel Cheong says

ahahah I see u are charged

vidya pillai says

excitednyer sekarang

Rachel Cheong says

upon finding your husband

yq officially the matchmaker!

vidya pillai says

imagine him sitting in kerteh right now

in front of his laptop

Rachel Cheong says

nanti on your weddign I can be the one rechronicling the story

vidya pillai says

with no idea

Rachel Cheong says

his fate has been decided

vidya pillai says

that some random girl has decided shes going to marry him

I have no life, honestly.




Promised myself I'd study before I wrote this blog post.
AND I DID!
Well. I wrote one page of notes.
I suppose that counts.
I think.


Was planning to watch A Bear Named Winnie once I'd finished writing this,
but there's an episode of Fairly Legal with a shirtless Justin that I haven't watched yet, so...

Will probably watch both.



AND TA-DAA NEW PHONE WALLPAPER.




See I was studying you can see my notes under my phone. *nods solemnly*




~vid~

Of Future Husbands.

I have found my future husband.

I am not kidding you, I have. And its not some celebrity.
All I have to do now is convince my mother into thinking this whole proposition of marriage is her idea.
:D

Expect a blog post about this tomorrow :D
(yes I know you people stalk me)

That, and my experiences on the first day of Ortho.

yaaay.


~vid~

mm-hmm.

One year from now, I'm going to go through my archives and probably regret every single thing I wrote in June 2011.

Just saying.


~vid~

Honesty

See video tagged as "A sex scene from Fish Tank",
instantly click play.


Look at your life, Vidya, look at your choices.
*buries head in blanket*

But to be fair it has Fassy in it! so. that sort of justifies it yeah?


I am turning into such a perv. And I'm going to blame that completely on Jovann. And Gurdave.
Primarily because I've become so used to them being either absolutely perverse or absolutely disgusting, or both, and its messing with my own inhibition.
...that sounded very suggestive.
It wasn't meant to. :|




p.s. the only reason I've been blogging so much is because I've been trying to put off starting on my reports for Psych. Once I go back to not having assignments, this blog is going to die off again.
I'm just weird like that.






~vid~

Hunger

So I watched Hunger today.

Because Fassy's in it. I'm one of those weird people okay; when I like an actor I have to go watch everything they've ever acted in.

Starting with Hunger.



I swear, Irish people don't speak English. Its IMPOSSIBLE to understand anything they're saying!
Thankfully the version I watched had subtitles.




The movie was..

well.

It was one of those artsy movies,

the ones that don't quite have a beginning,
and don't quite have an end,
and there's only dialogue for about ten minutes in the whole movie, and the rest is just squishy sounds and long, drawn out scenes of people smoking, or mopping floors, or just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.

And there was alot of nakedness.

I saw Fassy's penis.
But of course being the calm, collected medical student that I am, I totally did not have a mini freak out session that sounded like "omg Fassy why you showing your penis on tv what is wrong with you Fassy omg lemme get you a blanket"
I mean. Of course not.
Totally.

He was miserably thin in the movie though.

Most of the time I was just "omg Fassy why you do this to yourself come here come to me let me feed you and care for you you poor poor thing"



I should probably touch on the synopsis a bit now.
It was more of chronicling the war between the IRA and the British,
and Bobby Sands' (a revolutionary) hunger strike to get the British government to give in to the demands of the Irish prisoners.



So yes, the ending left me sad.

I suppose it would have had a bigger impact on me had I been Irish, or even living in Ireland.
But.
I'll admit it was a powerful movie.


One that I definitely will not be watching again.




Next on my list of Fassbender movies to watch : Fish Tank.

In which he plays a paedophile who sleeps around. uhm.
well. You can't accuse him of playing stereotyped roles, eh?




~vid~

Magneto

And I just realised that my utmost favourite of all the tracks is called Magneto.

wow.

No suprises there.



what. I have nothing else to blog about okay.

Except that I was very sick today and didn't go for my CFCS presentation.


~vid~

Rage and Serenity

I think one of the reasons I love this X-Men movie so much is because of the soundtrack.

It was perfect.
It brought out the tension and intensity in all the right places,
turned dark and evil in all the right places,
it honestly just made the movie all the more perfect.

Apparently the soundtrack will only be released on June 28, so it looks like I'll have to wait.
:(


The only other movie in which I loved the soundtrack as much was Star Wars : Attack of the Clones.
Across The Stars is such a beautiful song.


I'm one of those weird people who love instrumental soundtracks ok.




~vid~

Periods

I have come to the conclusion that I physically need chocolate while I'm on my period.

It's not a craving, it's an actual need.




I'm also testing out this theory that no one reads my blog.
Which I know isn't true, because I see all you stalkers on my livefeed,
but since none of you want to comment I'm going to assume you don't read,
which obviously gives me the license to be as disgusting as I want on my own blog.

Which, of course, means I can talk about my period whenever I want.

ok?


ok. :D




~vid~

Who ends up in a wheelchair?

This is officially my favourite gif ok.




Oh Fassy :3



So its not like I ever promised to be a quality blog or anything,
but just a heads up, if you're a regular reader,
you're going to see alot of Michael Fassbender on this blog in the next few days ok.


I mean its not like it's a bad thing, right? He has such a bee-yoo-ti-ful face.
*sighs and melts into butter*


~vid~

#2

I'm the one on my period and she gets to be the bitch?

Really?





~vid~

Another Fassy Post

Oh hello look what I found to distract everybody from all the emo-ness in the post below!

Moar Fassbender!










What.
Hot Irish-German men with sexy frown lines make me happy ok.
(or it could just be the pain meds kicking in idk)



~vid~

vent

I just feel like writing okay.
You may all ignore this blog post and go on with your lives. shoo.


Its just, when anyone else in the house is sick or has some small pain somewhere,
everyone expects me to jump around doing things for them.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm the youngest, or if its just because I'm doing medicine and therefore am supposed to be insanely interested in every small ailment..
It just gets to me okay.

If you have a headache take a Panadaol or something! Why run to me?
What, am I supposed to do some magic trick and make your headache disappear?
Or would you prefer I sit and hold your hand til your headache goes away? I mean, seriously!


And today I'm not well.

I have the most insanely painful cramps. Can't sit, can't stand. So while everyone else was busy watching a movie, I went and filled in a hot water bottle and went to lie down with it on my stomach to ease the pain.
Not like anyone noticed, but I wasn't doing it for attention.
If I wanted attention, I would have moaned and groaned and rolled around on the carpet like my sister-in-law does (only mild exaggeration there)

And then to add to that pain, I sprained my ankle this afternoon and that started acting up,
but its easy to forget about that when your uterus has decided to turn itself out.

AND I develop a migraine.
Just had to happen. And I was in too much pain to get up and take my Cafegot, so I just let it be.



And then after all that, when their movie is over, they're all like
"eh can go get me water?"
"eh can go take my towel for me?"
"eh do this, eh do that"
And I'm just like "omg I'm hurting go away"

And what do I get for that?

"Why are you always such a bitch?"


No really.
Really.
I do fucking everything for you, and one fucking day when I'm in so much fucking pain I'm a bitch?
Really?
YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED GET YOUR WIFE TO DO YOUR SHIT FOR YOU.


GAH.


Just so much pain ok.
I can't even sleep.


~vid~

The Dream (or semi-dream or non-dream dream or wtv)

So its not like any of you caaaareee about my X-Men/Michael Fassbender obsession,
but I'm going to keep blogging about them/him anyway ok.

Ok.



As you all know I had my EOP this afternoon,
and as most of you know, I spent the whole of last night obsessing about Michael Fassbender on facebook.
Because I'm so sensible that way. *cough*



So I wanted to compensate by getting up early today and studying.



I set like three alarms this morning because I was so paranoid that I wouldn't wake up in time to study,
and true to form I switched off the alarm and went back to sleep the first two times.

On the third alarm though, (my alarm tone and ringtone are the same)
when the alarm rang, this thought ran through my head :

"omg why is this Fassbender calling me at this time of the morning"

And I picked up my phone fully intending to answer his call....




Except of course it wasn't a call.




Then I became sad. :(

So I woke up properly and went to study.




True story.










Yes you all needed to read this story ok.




~vid~

Study Break (not that I'm studying)

Michael Fassbender will you marry meeeee?

I mean I know I wanted him to marry James and all because they're SO freaking in love with each other but I mean seriously, he'd obviously pair off much better with me, primarily because I'm female and capable of producing his babies and.
yeah.
Or they could both marry me I don't mind *cough*.



So obviously not studying.


WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE US ANALYSE X-MEN CHARACTERS INSTEAD?
They've all got deep-seated psycho problems too!



gaaaaaaaah.


~vid~

Psych EOP

So apparently Dr Shane fails people during EOP if they can't diagnose the patient?
(at least that's what Chin Nam told me)

...well on my way to failure then.

They all look schizophrenic to me, and I can't for the life of me remember any of that DSM crap.


Gahhhh I HATE Psychiatry!

Unless I get a substance-abuse patient (pleaseGodpleaseGodplease) which would be easier for obvious reasons.


So instead of cramming diagnostic criteria like mad, I'm sitting here blogging, the night before the EOP.
...but then again, I always do this.
So wtv.



And the icing on the cake?
My exam is tomorrow afternoon.
yay.


WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN IN THE MORNING AND THEN I'D BE FREE OF THIS TORMENT SO MUCH EARLIER.


Gah.


*throws random things around*




Btw I had a patient the other day who went psycho and killed her daughter's kitten.
yeh.
awesomesauce.





~vid~

Alternate Ending

In my opinion, this is how X-Men First Class should have ended.

I doubt this would count as a spoiler, but if you haven't watched it and you don't want to read this post...
...
...THEN DONT.

GO AWAY.

SHOO.




















(leaving lots of space so no one "accidentally" reads anything they don't want to read and blames me for spoiling the movie for them)

















Right so.

After Charles gets shot in the back and Erik is holding him in his arms...

(I don't remember the dialogues verbatim ok so)

and Erik is feeling guilty and he spouts that dialogue about how he cannot be ruled by men again and bla bla,
and Charles is trying to be stoic for him,

but as Erik makes to get up and move away,

Charles grabs his hand. And whispers the words only Erik can hear "don't leave me",
and Erik feels his heart clench,
and his resolve breaks down,
and he falls back to his knees beside Charles.

"Oh Charles what have I done! Of course I'll never leave you, NEVERRRR"




And then he hugs Charles,
and Charles lets out a sob,
and Erik has this whole manly tears thing going on,

and then they get married on the beach and live happily ever after.


Ta-daa!



Seriously though.


At this one point during the movie I thought they were going to grab each other and start making out or something.
So much ~sexual tension.
roarrr.

SEE JUST LOOK THEY WOULD BE SO PERFECT AS A MARRIED COUPLE LIKE SERIOUSLY.

Michael Fassbender is a fiiiiine specimen of a human being, no?



Om nom nom.

My love for him can almost rival my love for Hugh Jackman. Almost.

Nommmmmm.



*wink wink*






AND I SWEAR AZAZEL LOOKS LIKE DAVE FROM MEEPLES.


And I nearly died when I saw Kevin Bacon in the movie. I mean what.





I am obviously going to fail Psychiatry.




~vid~


p.s. Pictures and gifs not mine, I claim no copyright.

Hello I am still alive.

For someone who seems to have absolutely no time for anything,
I have watched alot of movies in the past 5 weeks.

Priest
Fast Five
Pirates of the Carribean (twice because I was forced to)
Kung Fu Panda
X-Men First Class
..and those are just the ones in the cinema.
The only thing I wanted to watch but didn't manage to was Thor. Oh well. Wait for DVD copy la.

Hindi movies :
Chori Chori (because I just had to watch it again :3)
Aaja Nachle
Khatta Meetha
Jhootha Hi Sahi (twice because its awesome)

Some random tamil movie on ABO that I've forgotten the name of.

Christian Brothers (malayalam)

I don't think I've ever watched so many movies in such a short span of time before. Exam next week summore.
yay me.

Obviously not studying. haihs.



~vid~

Prince Charming

This happened a couple of days ago, but I only remembered it just now, so..

Story sharing time!

:D


Right.

So it was my cousin's wedding anniversary,
and her husband bought a bouquet of roses,
which she found waiting for her in her bedroom after she returned from work.

Her daughter, who was very excited by the thought of daddy buying mummy roses,
asked when she could get some of her own.

So my cousin goes like "don't worry, darling. When you grow up, someday a Prince Charming will come and give you roses"

And her daughter replies with :

"Prince Charming? You mean Justin Bieber?"




...


I'm not quite sure whether to laugh or cry.



~vid~

Rant.

To rant or not to rant?

...rant it is.


The HBIL is coming over today.
Apparently he shouldn't be considered a brother-in-law, because he's only my sister-in-law's brother, and thus not MY brother in-law per se, but whatever.
HBIL he has been christened, and HBIL he shall stay.

So there are some days when I quite like him, and some days where I hate him with a passion.
Today is one of those hate-with-a-passion days.

Partly because of the gossip cloud surrounding us.
I do not like being involved in slanderous/scandalous/wtv gossip.
I mean, get real. There is no fucking way I'm marrying the git.
He's fun to be around, and I will admit to having had a crush on the guy, but let's face it, there is no way I'm slogging 5 years at this stupid MBBS course just to end up marrying some dude with a diploma and no stable job.
This is not some tamil movie where education doesn't matter when it comes to love.
It does.
the end.


AND SO.
I do not like having people speculate, and whats worse, attempt to encourage the beginnings of a relationship.
Go to hell.

AND I DO NOT AGREE TO SHARING MY BATHROOM WITH HIM.
GO AWAY.
MY BATHROOM IS PERSONAL OKAY.
I'll share it with my other relations, but I do not want to share it with HBIL.
Especially with all this gossip rubbish.


yay rant over.



And I swear if my mother tries to set me up with anyone at the dinner tonight I will run amok and hit alot of people.

...would make a nice sight though, no?, come to think of it.
Me, in a punjabi suit and a shawl and heels standing in the middle of a hall threatening to whack people with...a frying pan?
(I dunno. The frying pan seemed to suit the situation)


Oh well.


I love sweet potatoes.





I'm going to start a bucket list.




~vid~

Of broken contact lenses.

So my contact lens tore/broke? in half today.

While it was still in my eye.

During Child Psych clinic this morning.



I honestly believe the number of mishaps I encounter in daily life would be enough to form a sitcom series that would run for quite a few seasons.



Anywayyy,
I didn't know it tore at first, but there was alot of irritation, and then my eye started smarting and I figured there was something seriously wrong,
so without Dr Rajan or anyone else noticing,
I sneakily pulled out the lens,
only to see that only part of it was there.

Cue panic.

Then rushed to the toilet, and checked my eye thoroughly...it was the public toilet, I must've confused all those poor patients who were waiting to relieve themselves.

I suppose the other bit must've fallen out of my eye at some point before I pulled out the lens, because I couldn't find it, and the smarting in my eye had stopped.


But I looked a real sight.
With one normal eye and one red, swollen eye.
-_O

yep.


Left in my other lens though or I'd have been completely blind and would have walked into absolutely everything.

The only problem with having one lens on and one off is that it messes with your depth perception.
I almost walked into absolutely everything anyway because I completely couldn't judge how far away things were.

Thankfully I know I'm a klutz and so I keep my specs in the car so I could change.

I suppose thats why they tell you you can't keep your nails long and sharp when you're wearing contacts, eh?



Might lay off the contacts til Saturday at least.


..or not.


I'm vain. Not particularly partial to wearing my dorky specs in public unless I absolutely have to.




On another random note,
I suddenly have the urge to watch that old Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie...the one where their dad meets some woman and they don't like her and her son, and so they try to break them up...
..hold on lemme google.


.
.
.
..OH YEAH. It's called Billboard Dad!

...to watch or not to watch?

I know I loved the movie and watched 12039203458 times as a kid, but I'm not sure I'd appreciate it the same way now.

hmm.




~vid~