Insomnia

I am crashing.

In the past 4 days I have slept a total of 11 hours.
Total, mind you.

I don't know what I'm running on.



Class yesterday was torture.
8-5, just sitting in SR1, listening to MA Wong go on about fractures and casts and traction.

I hate air-conditioned classrooms, because you have to close all the windows and doors.
I cannot focus in enclosed spaces like that.
Even in Taylors I used to have to go walk around after every class, no joke. By the end of one hour in an air-conditioned classroom I just completely slip off the edge.
It's like quicksand.
I just completely cannot concentrate at all.
I think its because in air-cond classrooms, the air is so stagnant.

And 9 hours in the same classroom, I was going to die.



Somehow came back really late yesterday.
Slept at 2, because I wanted to read up for today's TBL.

I honestly do think I've changed.
I wanted so badly to watch A Bear Named Winnie yesterday, but I just had to study first, and then I ended up not watching the movie because studying took up so much time.

A year ago I'd have said "screw studying" and watched the movie first instead.



Someone told me on Monday that they really like my voice.
Was a bit odd, really.
And Dave yesterday was all "Vidya, your voice is actually very seductive you know"

What. No it isn't.





Dato' Siva is really weird.
I don't care how many of you think he's really nice and all..maybe he is, to you guys.
He just has something against me, I swear!
Walked past him and Dr Sheila just now, and he gave me this really weird look, and was all "Hi. How are you?" in this super sarcastic tone and with this super sarcastic smile (the kind that reminds you of the big bad wolf)
Even Dr Sheila was like wth what is this man doing.

psh.




Research is driving me crazy.
We're still not done, and we're on such a tight timeframe right now.
Gah.

So much work, so little time!




People tell you that clinical school is alot of hard work.
They tell you that you won't have much time for yourself.

What they don't tell you outright (but what they really should tell you instead) is that life as you know it ends once you enter clinical school.

Your time is not your own anymore.
Assignments come before everything else, studying comes before everything else.
Medicine, comes before everything else.


I can't even afford to make plans to go out because half the time I can't keep to them.
There's always another report to write, another exam to study for.

sigh.





I still really want to watch my movie.
And cry over it.
Thankfully I finished early today (its only 2pm right now) because I have laundry to do,
and there's more studying to be done.

But first of all, most importantly, I need to sleep.


Goodnight everybody.



~vid~