The Dreams

God, I hate statistics.

I wouldn't mind doing a research paper on something I was genuinely interested in,
i.e. stem cell research.
But client satisfaction?
Paired with statistics?

Why, God, why do you torture me so?



Been having a lot of vivid dreams lately,
probably for the past two weeks or so.

They mostly involve the hospital, sex (I don't know why ok, don't judge me it's my subconscious' fault), and running away.
Escaping.
Climbing over walls, hiding, just always running away from the hospital and the sex and the torture.
But never alone, there are always people running away with me.

And it never quite begins properly, you're just thrown right into the middle of the dream,
and it never quite ends.

It's like quicksand,
each time my alarm rings, I wake up ever so slightly, and then the dream rears it's ugly head and pulls me right back in.
I know I'm having a dream, I just can't get out of it.

And then when it finally ends, when it finally releases its hold on me enough for me to wake properly,
it just leaves me feeling as though someone put my brain through a meat-grinder.

Never rested.

It's driving me crazy.




And the workload never lessens.

I might go mad.



~vid~

My watch died again. :(

The trusty watch took a break?

That Boyfriend song has been stuck in my head the whole week.
The one by Big Time Rush.

They sound so boyband! Despite random Snoop Dogg rap in the beginning and the end.




And my "watch one Fassy movie a day" plan has been altered to "attempt to watch one Fassy movie a week"

oh well.

Priorities.




Did I tell you guys the story of how my watch died?

It died last Thursday,
but I was still wearing it throughout this week because it feels awfully weird to be walking around without a watch, and I don't have another one.

Took it to the watch shop on Tuesday to change the battery,
and while the lady was doing it for me,
I turned to explain the sentimental value of my watch to Manichelvi;
I've had it since I was Standard 6...that's almost ten years now, and I couldn't imagine not having it with me..

...2 seconds later the lady turns around and goes

"Jam kamu kan, bateri lama itu masih boleh guna, dan saya pakai bateri baru pun jam kamu tak jalan. Ini jam kamu punya problem la, engine rosak kot"

:O

:O

Heartbreak.

But I told her that I'd get the engine repaired in KL instead, and I continued to wear my dead watch for the rest of the week.

And then yesterday I came home, and I was telling my mother that I wanted to get the watch repaired,
and she was all

"It's such an old watch, what's the point in repairing it? Just get a new one la"

:O Blasphemy!

So I emo-ed the whole night.

And this morning when I woke up, my watch was working.

O_O


um. okay.



Hopefully it continues working.
I've been so lost for the past one week and a half :(



~vid~

Irritation

I don't understand why some people feel the need to force their opinions down other people's throats.
Especially if someone backs them up, then it just gets out of hand.

I reserve the right to my own opinions, and I don't give a shit if you do or do not approve of my tastes.
I'm not forcing you to like what I like.

So fuck off.



~vid~

Bear

I'm going to watch my A Bear Named Winnie now.

Screw studying. :p

I think I jinxed my own rajin-ness in the post earlier today.


~vid~

A Dangerous Method

So I really want to watch this movie.

Damn.
I'm going to claim I need to watch this movie to help me understand Psych better ok.
Ok.






Love the background score.


Why should we put so much effort into suppressing our most basic natural instincts?

Never repress anything.




Plus there's Viggo Mortensen!
Haven't seen him play anything except Aragorn tbh.


But Fassy! :3



~vid~

Insomnia

I am crashing.

In the past 4 days I have slept a total of 11 hours.
Total, mind you.

I don't know what I'm running on.



Class yesterday was torture.
8-5, just sitting in SR1, listening to MA Wong go on about fractures and casts and traction.

I hate air-conditioned classrooms, because you have to close all the windows and doors.
I cannot focus in enclosed spaces like that.
Even in Taylors I used to have to go walk around after every class, no joke. By the end of one hour in an air-conditioned classroom I just completely slip off the edge.
It's like quicksand.
I just completely cannot concentrate at all.
I think its because in air-cond classrooms, the air is so stagnant.

And 9 hours in the same classroom, I was going to die.



Somehow came back really late yesterday.
Slept at 2, because I wanted to read up for today's TBL.

I honestly do think I've changed.
I wanted so badly to watch A Bear Named Winnie yesterday, but I just had to study first, and then I ended up not watching the movie because studying took up so much time.

A year ago I'd have said "screw studying" and watched the movie first instead.



Someone told me on Monday that they really like my voice.
Was a bit odd, really.
And Dave yesterday was all "Vidya, your voice is actually very seductive you know"

What. No it isn't.





Dato' Siva is really weird.
I don't care how many of you think he's really nice and all..maybe he is, to you guys.
He just has something against me, I swear!
Walked past him and Dr Sheila just now, and he gave me this really weird look, and was all "Hi. How are you?" in this super sarcastic tone and with this super sarcastic smile (the kind that reminds you of the big bad wolf)
Even Dr Sheila was like wth what is this man doing.

psh.




Research is driving me crazy.
We're still not done, and we're on such a tight timeframe right now.
Gah.

So much work, so little time!




People tell you that clinical school is alot of hard work.
They tell you that you won't have much time for yourself.

What they don't tell you outright (but what they really should tell you instead) is that life as you know it ends once you enter clinical school.

Your time is not your own anymore.
Assignments come before everything else, studying comes before everything else.
Medicine, comes before everything else.


I can't even afford to make plans to go out because half the time I can't keep to them.
There's always another report to write, another exam to study for.

sigh.





I still really want to watch my movie.
And cry over it.
Thankfully I finished early today (its only 2pm right now) because I have laundry to do,
and there's more studying to be done.

But first of all, most importantly, I need to sleep.


Goodnight everybody.



~vid~

Temptation

So I tried watching bits of A Bear Named Winnie...

...I'm pretty much just making weird strangled noises everytime I see Michael Fassbender on my screen.
Which is like every 2 seconds.


I think I need to leave this for tomorrow.


Long day tomorrow.
4 classes, 8-5.
yay!





Totally do not like Ortho btw, in case I haven't mentioned it already.
I prefer it to Psych, def,
but gah the timetable is so full!
So not cool.



~vid~

um. Edit?

LOL I JUST REALISED YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING FROM THE CONVERSATION BELOW.

I couldn't be bothered editing the font la okay.
If you really kepo then go highlight the whole thing and read.

If not just move along, move along...

That's mostly on this blog for my future reference, so I can look back two years from now and marvel at what a complete nutjob I was (am).



~vid~

Of future husbands : Part 2

In which Yan Qi was the perpetrator who led me to realise that (future) love of my life was staring back at me from a computer screen,

and in which Rachel was totally supportive of my choice,

whereas Jovann, (when I told him about it today), approved of the choice but also added a "omg Vidyaaaaa I'm going to kill you, can you stop with your delusions already!"

Pfft.
What delusions.




Right.

Snippets of the conversation with Rachel yesterday,
and that's all the insight you people are getting into my marriage plans. *wink wink*
(no I'm serious I have nothing else to blog about and I'm in the mood to embarrass myself so..)

vidya pillai says

wah

like this i want arranged marriage

ahem

Rachel Cheong says

yes

ahhaha

to these boys

*ahem*

vidya pillai says

this one especially

alot in common

plus hes an engineer!

which totally fits my criteria

Rachel Cheong says

and he supports the same club

finally huh

vidya pillai says

and same music

and movies

almost

Rachel Cheong says

ooohhohohooo

oohhoohoohoo

go ask your mum!

vidya pillai says

summore study with my brother leh!

his junior!

stupid boy

why never bring people like this home!?

HE LIKES ALADDIN

duuuude why are you not married to me already?

ok la

settle

ive found my future husband

unless of course i get married to fassy first

Rachel Cheong says

so now can petition to your mum then!

tell her no need to worry about you anymore

u have found a nice indian boy

so his name is *insert name here* is it?

vidya pillai says

nice kan

Rachel Cheong says

yes quite

vidya pillai says

ok second report done

Rachel Cheong says

ahahah I see u are charged

vidya pillai says

excitednyer sekarang

Rachel Cheong says

upon finding your husband

yq officially the matchmaker!

vidya pillai says

imagine him sitting in kerteh right now

in front of his laptop

Rachel Cheong says

nanti on your weddign I can be the one rechronicling the story

vidya pillai says

with no idea

Rachel Cheong says

his fate has been decided

vidya pillai says

that some random girl has decided shes going to marry him

I have no life, honestly.




Promised myself I'd study before I wrote this blog post.
AND I DID!
Well. I wrote one page of notes.
I suppose that counts.
I think.


Was planning to watch A Bear Named Winnie once I'd finished writing this,
but there's an episode of Fairly Legal with a shirtless Justin that I haven't watched yet, so...

Will probably watch both.



AND TA-DAA NEW PHONE WALLPAPER.




See I was studying you can see my notes under my phone. *nods solemnly*




~vid~