TWIG : Galway and Goodnight :)

So I reached Galway in one piece around 2.45pm :)

Spent time catching up with Yan Qi,
getting to know her housemates,
and then Jovann came over,
and then yeah. we've all pretty much been just sitting around and talking.

Her housemates are awfully nice.

Oh, and we're going to Dublin tomorrow again.
I'd actually like to see Dublin from the outside of a bus, it does seem like a very pretty town.

And I'm practically collapsing with the need for sleep,
so goodnight everybody!
I'll post about Dublin tomorrow :)

We won't be going for fireworks anywhere tomorrow though because we wouldn't be able to get transport back to Galway if we did.
Oh well,
can't have it all eh?





~vid~

TWIG : Dublin

So I've arrived in Dublin!
Whee!
Arrived 1.5 hours ago, collecting baggage was pretty easy, and the customs and immigration people were really nice :)
Half-walked, half-ran to the coach park (also really easy to find...there were signs everywhere), just in time to miss the 10.45 bus. :(
Like it literally left just as I reached the coach park.
Got on the 11.45 bus instead. He's just left for Galway now :)) but we'll be making a stop in Dublin City first.
The bus has wifi, so coooool!

Although I should probably be admiring the sights instead of blogging rn.

Its so cold!
Was walking out of the airport earlier and was wondering where the smoke was coming from, then I realised it was my own breath fogging up in front of me.
:O

Got my Ipod in, with my Ali Zafar playlist, so I'm pretty content now.
Going to spend the rest of the bus ride staring out my window in wonder :D

Toodles!

~vid~

TWIG : Amsterdam!

Hello from Amsterdaaaaam!

Made it here in one piece. Hah!
So its currently around 6.35am here, and my flight is at 9.30am, so that gives me around 3 hours of nothing to do.
I'm sitting outside my gate because I really don't know where else to go, and I'm not hungry/thirsty so I'd rather not go sit in a coffee shop and waste money :/
So here I am, blogging!
Typing this out on Word first, because Schipol only allows free wifi for an hour, so I'd rather not connect to the Internet first..

And now I can hear someone whistling Tujhe Dekha in the airport, which is decidedly odd because I don't see any Asians around.
:O
Bollywood has infiltrated the West!
I mean, of course it did, quite some time ago, but wtv.

Everyone here is sitting around wearing their winter coats and all...and mine is just thrown over my arm because it really is hot here.
If I was wearing my coat right now I'd suffocate.
Getting alot of weird stares because I'm the only one not wearing mine.
Or maybe I'm getting stared at because I'm the only Asian person here.
Hm.

Anywaaaay,
I have alot to write about, so I'd best go in chronological order so I don't miss anything out.

Right,
So back at KLIA, we discovered they'd changed the aircraft to a smaller one, and so instead of being in row 15, I ended up in row 32.
Which was sort of okay, because I still had a window seat,
and the toilet (they call it lavaratory, wheeee! Haven't heard that word used in forever!) was just a row in front,
but I was sitting right behind the wing...
...not at all condusive when you're trying to watch an in-flight movie.
Turned the volume up pretty loud and yet still had to strain to hear what they were saying over the sound of the engines.

AND OMG WHY DO I ALWAYS GET STUCK BEHIND ABSOLUTE IMBECILES WHO RECLINE THEIR SEAT SO FAR BACK THEY'RE PRACTICALLY SLEEPING ON YOU?!
UGH.
Was hell trying to squeeze out from there to get to the toilet, plus my seatmate had 1467435544 things under her seat so I had to stumble all over that too -.-
I think I might have pulled too hard on the headrests of the seats in front while trying to maintain my balance.
Was kinda tempted to apologize, actually.
Like "I am SO sorry I'm bothering you, but I really have no choice because YOU'RE RECLINING YOUR SEAT TOO FUCKING FAR BACK, ASSHOLE!"

Oh.
See I've gotten ahead of myself here.
Okay, rewind back to the airporttt...

Alright, so back at KLIA, while I was waiting for them to open the gates to allow us to board the plane,
this random white dude in his 50's (? I think) decided to squeeze into a seat berween me and another lady,
and there really wasn't enough place for him, he was practically sitting on me!
And after a few awkward moments during which I was busying myself on twitter,
he decides to start talking to me...
...
...
...and doesn't stop!
Seriously, he talked about everything from his business deals in Malaysia, to how this time he was just accompanying his wife (a KLM stewardess) on holiday, to how he's not a huge fan of Ireland, to the Malaysian quota system...
(our quota system is an excellent topic for conversation btw)
He also slipped in ALOT of inappropriate but hilarious racist comments about everybody...the Dutch, the Irish, us Malaysians...and he was awfully loud about it too.
Spent about half an hour just listening to him. Was honestly rather fun though.
Oh and since his wife worked on the flight, halfway through the flight, circa 3am, she came over to confirm that I was the girl talking to her husband earlier,
told me to call her if I needed anything at all, and gave me a free toiletry bag (the ones they hand out in business class), compliments of KLM. :D
Its not much, but it was kinda sweet :)

I was actually kind of hoping there'd be someone at least half as chatty as him next to me on the flight,
but.
:(
There were two girls next to me, one Dutch, one Chinese, both of whom promptly pulled out storybooks and began to read as soon as they'd sat down.
Like.
Uhm.
Okay.
So I spent the whole flight alternating between movies, music and sleeping.
Watched Crazy, Stupid Love first, because I've been meaning to watch that since foreverrr,
and then dozed off for a bit. Maybe 2 hours. They had hindi music on the plane (Y) so I made a "playlist" of songs fron Jhootha Hi Sahi and Dabangg, and fell asleep to Sonu Nigam crooning in my ear.
Was kinda hoping for Mere Brother Ki Dulhan songs though, but that would've been just too good to be true.
Oh, and they served dinner. Which was awesome because I'd been starving within ten minutes of boarding the flight. O.o
Got up after a while and then decided to watch Source Code.
Didn't like the ending, they should've just ended the story with everyone dead.
But yeah, anyway,
tried to doze off again, unsuccessfully,
then gave up and debated on whether to watch Thor (hadn't watched that before), Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (they actually had ZNMD asjfgfhfkkhgh), or You've Got Mail (because it's one of my fav movies)
Settled on Thor.
Josh Dallas was adorableeeee with that beard and all! Eventhough his role wasn't much.
And who was that acting as Loki? Looked an awful lot like Jared Leto. And I preferred him to Thor :)
Thor was annoying.

Okay, then we finally landed!
Was so tempted to say I'd finally landed on European soil! but I guess it doesn't count because I'm just sitting in the airport,
not actually stepping out into Amsterdam. :/
Changed my watch time to local time, and was planning on leaving my phone on Malaysian time,
but my phone had other ideas and decided to automatically switch instead -.-

My departure gate is on the other end of the airport from my arrival gate,
took me 20 mins of brisk walking to get here wt
Thankfully, since its so far at the end, the toilets were deserted, so I could take my own sweet time cleaning my teeth and brushing my hair and putting my contacts in.
Just for the added self-confidence ;)
Breakfast was also served on the plane, so I don't have to worry about that either.

And omg its taken me a whole hour to type out this post, so I'm going to shut up now.
Pray I can copy paste this into Blogger or you lot will only be reading this post 7 hours later. :/


:D


~vid~

TWIG : Pre-trip

AAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Hello.
:D

So its like 6pm here, and I've just spent the whole day sleeping.
Literally.
Like I woke up at 12, ate lunch, repacked everything until I was happy with it,
(STILL 24kg though. That's insane. Thank God I'm only in excess of 1kg, hopefully they'll waive it off)
and then I didn't know what to do with myself so I dozed off til now.

lol.

I don't know how I'm going to sleep on the flight later.
Oh well, just watch movies until I doze off then or something.


Got alot of phone calls today morning from my aunts/uncles all wired up to give me pep talks.
Like don't be nervous,
be brave,
God is always with you,
etc. etc.

Guess that kinda put things into perspective for me.

I'm not going to war.
I'm just going to go to a different country for a semi-holiday.
-_-

I've been making a mountain out of a molehill for no reason whatsoever,
but oh well,
whats life without a little drama eh?
And I have dramaticism in spades. ;)


So yep,
I guess I will blog when I'm in Amsterdam.
via tablet,
although I'd probably type it all out first and then log on to the Internet and copy paste the whole thing into blogger,
because apparently
Schipol offers free wifi for one hour.

ONE hour.

I'm going to be there for FOUR.

-_-

So here's the plan,
get off the plane, find my gate,
freshen up or wtv (I'm hoping all that will shave off at least half an hour from my transit time), and then go find a nice comfy place to sit and type another blog post about my amazing experience sitting in a cramped position for 13 hours because I'm too much of a self-conscious prat to get up and walk around except to the bathroom,
and then I'd pull out my 'Have A Little Faith' by Mitch Albom and read it til they call for boarding.

Or, in worst case scenario that I've used up my one hour free wifi and I really don't fancy reading,
I'll pull out my laptop and use that for another one hour instead.

Yesh.
Good plan.



Everything's pretty much done,
except for putting this laptop in my bag and locking everything up.

Still not too happy about how I have to wear my nerd specs on the plane because 13 hours is far too long to have your contacts in,
plus I'm planning on sleeping at some point during the flight,
so leaving them in is a no-no.
Especially now since I've done ophthalmo already and the consultants have had their fun scaring me about all the infections/complications related to contact lens wear.
-_-



Oh, and the boy is apparently staying in his friend's house.
Not MY friend's house.
I suppose that makes it easier for everybody,
but his friend's house is about half an hour away from where I'll be staying, so I guess we'd have to work something out in terms of how we meet up for uni.

Yan Qi was telling me the rough schedules for the cardio posting yesterday..

Tutorials, wards, clinics, surgical theatre..

I was okay with the tutorials part,
God knows I need ALOT of help with cardio (I hate it, its rubbish)

But omg, just hearing "wards, clinics, OT"...I wanted to vomit.
ugh.
yuck.
It's like a legit physical reaction to hearing parts of the hospital mentioned.

I've only been away from the medical field for 6 days,
its far too soon to start even thinking about wards and clinics again.
:(
Oh well.
I'll just have to keep a countdown of how many days I'll have to be there.

14 days as it is.

14 days is survivable, right?
:/




Alright,
its 6.15 now and I really have to go take a shower and then get ready to flyyyyy.
We're leaving for the airport at 8pm,
flight is at 11.40pm (have I mentioned this already?)

So unless I'm lost,
I'm too lazy,
something unthinkable happens,

the next post will be from Amsterdam!


yaaay!



Oh, and also I've decided I'm going to chronicle my entire trip as Three Weeks in Galway,
hence T W I G as the title of this post.


AAAAAAAND I've decided I'm going to make a scrapbook as well :D

I've been wanting to make a scrapbook for awhile,
but I just never had anything to make it on,
and its ridiculous to make a scrapbook for no reason at all.
(Actually it isn't, but yeah)

Which reminds me, I have to go save all my checklists from being unceremoniously dumped into the wastepaper basket so that I can paste them all in my scrapbook.

Should be fun.

Although I'll probably only start it when I get back to M'sia.
Don't fancy carrying more stationery halfway around the world :p


Not sure if I'll print blog posts and paste them in the scrapbook too.
Bit ridiculous to,
but it'd beat writing it all out again.
And then ten years from now I can pick up the scrapbook and laugh at how much I drama-ed about having to travel alone.



Damn. okay. I need to shower now.
Buh-byeeeee!


Pray I land safely and I don't get lost and it doesn't rain in Ireland!

(even if you're reading this after I've already landed, you can still pray ok. I'm sure God can see into the future and sense your good intentions and give me extra luck on your behalf as well.
K?
K. Thanksloveyoubye!)







~vid~

Chal Dil Mere

In a much calmer state of mind now.
Got all my documents sorted.
And I have to repack tomorrow, because there are odds and ends that I've left out.

I've more or less accepted that this is really happening.

LOL.
I make it sound like a death sentence of something, don't I?
You're just traveling, Vidya, don't be such a drama queen!



So its 2.30am,
and I'm still awake because

1) I'm suffering from post-semester insomnia. I usually sleep around 3/4am during semester,
but the difference is that when I get back from class in the afternoons I usually crash for awhile before getting up and doing my assignments.
Back home, I don't have the chance to nap in the afternoons,
so over the past few days I've been becoming increasingly sleep-deprived.
And yet, I still can't fall asleep before 4am.
Habitual insomnia, this one.

2) I anyway have to charge my camera, Ipod, Mp3 player, etc.
I'm going to steal this picture.
Because I want it on my blog.
And its all over the Internet anyway, so...
(all copyright to the rightful owner though)






yep.





I've been wanting to post Jhoom up for a few days already,
but ...just doesn't feel right today.

So.

Chal Dil Mere - Ali Zafar




(yes this has morphed into a semi-Ali-Zafar-fan-club blog)

I actually watched this video first, and I thought he was singing an old hindi song,
and then when I finally looked up the original,
...its his song!
From one of his earlier albums (the first one if I'm not wrong)
And I do believe he changed most of the lyrics for this live version. (I don't actually understand half of what he's singing)
And how cute is it that Kat and Imran just suddenly start dancing along to his singing?
And the falsetto at 1.21.

asldkjskfh.


I love this man.



Alright.
The only thing left to be charged is my phone.
Which I shall do tomorrow.







OH AND.
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T STICK TO THEIR WORDS.
ONCE YOU'VE COMMITTED TO SOMEONE YOU CANNOT BE FICKLE.
YOU CANNOT CHANGE PLANS TEN MILLION TIMES WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT HOW OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE AFFECTED.

ugh.

This is why I like hibernating in my room.

I don't have to deal with people.




~vid~

The day before.

Fuck, my flight is tomorrow isn't it?

I sort of finished packing just now.
Might repack later, because I'm not happy with it. Can't do it right now because I'm in panic mode.
Again.
-_-
I think I was only calm for about a day and a half.

And oh my god, this is really happening.

I really am going to travel to a different continent for the first time in my life, and alone.
o.O
Lots of firsts.



Also, guess who decided to turn up today?
My period.
-_-
Its been delayed 3 weeks, and it decides to come today.
I suppose I should be thankful it didn't decide to suddenly make an appearance during the flight tomorrow or something.
I've been told the flow increases with altitude.
I'm hoping its just hearsay and that there's no truth to the statement at all.

And now, I can finally blame all my previous angsty/hormonal/whiny posts on a whole effing month of PMS.
I generally have PMS a week before getting my actual period,
(which sucks, but then again I have a fair warning...pros and cons, eh?)
and I got my PMS smack on time as usual this month,
but the period itself got delayed.
Add the usual one week PMS to the 3-week delay ...I've been in pain for a whole month okay.

Today was hell.

Took double dose of meds, which is the only reason I could muster up enough energy to pack today.

I'm so afraid I'll leave something important behind,
or I'll be lost,
or I'll screw up something at the transit/immigration,
or.
I don't know.
I suppose I'll be okay,
but aaaaah just let me be nervous okay? I'll be alright once I'm actually on the plane.
I'll be alot calmer.
Now I'm just going haywire.
Hence the incoherence of this post.

I honestly don't know what I'm typing.

Will probably blog while I'm on transit in Amsterdam,
because I have close to four hours with absolutely nothing to do.
mm-hmm.
Have to entertain myself somehow.


yep.
So.


P.S. Jea Mieeeee I love youuuu for saving my stories and sending them to me. :')



~vid~

Heartache

Remember how my laptop crashed some time back, and the guy took forever to fix it,
only to return it with everything saved under "Recovered File"?

I've been putting off going through my laptop and my external hard drives because...well, I've been awfully lazy.
Went through them today,
and discovered that most of the "recovered file"s cannot be opened.
They're just.
random.
blank.
things.

And so I went through my hard drives,

and I was so sure that I'd backed up my stuff quite recently...

...but I hadn't.
Well, apparently I hadn't.

I think I'd been backing up everything in my C drive to my D drive in case of a virus,
because they usually reformat just the C drive or something right?
and then they can backup from the D drive.
or something.
Well, that's how they did it for me before.

I was actually going through it today to see if my movies were still there,

(and of course they aren't)
(including my Season 1 of Game of Thrones and my season 6 of HIMYM)
But those I'm not too fussed over, I mean I can just download everything again.
No big deal.


What hurts more,
and this really hurts, mind you,
is that I've lost alot of my case reports and case summaries.
Actually I think I've lost all of them.
And all the ppt presentations,
and ugh.
Quite alot of uni stuff.

Imagine having to start case reports from scratch again next sem. :/


And along with my uni documents,
alot of my personal writing has disappeared too.
I mean, its not like they were anything great...but quite alot of time went into those random snippets.
And they're just.
well.
gone.

I suppose it serves me right for not being meticulous enough to backup my laptop every so often,
especially since my laptop had been threatening to crash for quite sometime already.

Still upsetting though.

I'm going to go wallow in self-pity for the rest of the night.
Not even Ali Zafar's angel voice can lift me out of this funk right now.
:(

I keep hoping all my documents will miraculously appear from somewhere.


sigh.




~vid~

Everybody say yeah, oh yeah.

HAI EVVYBODY!


So I'm actually supposed to be asleep now,
because its like 2.40 in the am, and I have to be up early tomorrow to go collect all the random perishables that I forgot in Seremban.

Perishables = foodstuff for those of you confused people.
yep.
Cannot leave foodstuff there for 2 months,
well, because my perishables are mostly like coffee and coffee mate and condensed milk and what not...
..
none of my housemates are coffee-drinkers so its not like they could use it up while I'm gone.
If they could've, I'd have left it behind.

so yeah.





Everytime I think about Thursday (which is when I leave for IRELAAAAAAAAAAAND btw, for those of you who didn't know about that)
I have this huge epic freak out session and I can't breathe for a bit.
Then I tell myself I'm not the first female on the planet to have traveled alone and I shouldn't be such a wuss and that if other people can do it then so can I.
yep.

I can do this.

As long as I don't get lost anywhere.

But considering I have three hours transit in Amsterdam,
and I have over an hour to get from Dublin airport to the coach station for my bus,
I don't think getting lost would be much of a problem.
As in I can afford to get lost and then find my way back within the allocated time limits.

But fgs, I'm going to countries where people speak English!
Don't be such an idiot Vidya.
-_-




Oh yes.
I haven't finished what I wanted to say.

So I have to be up early tomorrow, because I have to go Seremban,
and then I want to come back in time to be able to make it for the 12 o'clock show of MI 4!

I love Tom Cruise.
And I love love love the whole Mission Impossible franchise.

I swear I'm a confused child.
I mean I love rom-coms and Bollywood love stories and Disney fairytales, but dangle an action-flick in front of me and I'll salivate over it just as much as all the boys do.
true story.
Bet I'm not the only girl out there who does that either.
;)





Watched the Zee Cine Awards earlier.
Didn't watch the whole thing,
because my dad was watching some other movie on the Sundance channel before that.
The Journey or something.
About an Indian man who comes to America to live with his son and gets a culture shock ...or something.
You know, one of those movies that doesn't quite have a beginning or an end (or ANY point AT ALL for that matter) and tries to be artsy but actually fails?
yep.
I was paying more attention to the Pirates of the Caribbean game I download on my tab (Y).


Oh yes, and then we switched to the Zee Cine Awards,
and you know how on Astro when you flick through channels really fast sometimes the programme info comes on before the screen actually switches to the channel you want?
So the info came on and I was like "ooh Zee Cine Awards, okay lets watch that"
And then the screen finally switches to the awards programme itself,
and guess who was on my screen?

GUESS WHO?


ALI ZAFARRRRRR!
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!


And I had to contain all my emotions because ...well because. I mean my parents were there and everything ok.
I couldn't just jump up and down and go OH MY GOD ALI ON MY SCREEN THIS IS A SIGN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU WONDERFUL MAN OH MY GOD.

...not that I would've done that even if I was alone though.
I mean.
of course not.
psh.

ahem.

Yes so.
Akshay (Kumar) was a wonderful host, he was hilarious. omg.
Really.
He should host everything from now on.

Shah Rukh was being ...Shah Rukh. -_-

Hrithik was adorrrrrbz as ever.

I love Vidya Balan omg.
And its not because she shares my name (okay well thats part of it) but she's just so gorgeous and classy and she doesn't go for all this glamour and stuff and ugh.
I just love her okay.
total girl crush.

And then Best Debut for Male Actor.
They nominated BOTH Ali AND Ranveer!
oh my heart.
And I mean, when Karan (who was announcing the awards...Karan Johar yeah) started going off on his own tangent,
I guess I sorta knew Ranveer was gonna win it,
and I love Ranveer.
I really do.
But.
But.
But.
Ali :(
I mean, I suppose it would've been a long shot to hope for Tere Bin Laden to win anything (eventhough they were nominated alot) but.
:(

My poor bby.



ALI ZAFAR HAD BETTER WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR/BEST ACTOR IN A COMIC ROLE FOR MERE BROTHER KI DULHAN NEXT YEAR OR I WILL KILL SOMEONE.
I SWEAR.
I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER WONDERFUL/EPIC/AWARD-WORTHY MOVIE THEY CAME UP WITH THIS YEAR.


...although I loved Farhan in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and he was hilarious and.

NOOOOOOOOOOO.
ALI MUST WIN.

DON'T LET YOURSELF BE SWAYED, VIDYA.

Or like, give Farhan Best Supporting and Ali Best Comic Role..
.
no wait, it would have to be the other way round.

OR.

omg I don't care I just want him to win something ok.

ok.




Oh wait.
You lot wouldn't know about my Ali Zafar obsession unless you follow me on twitter.

Mai apologeez.

Okay.

This is Ali Zafar.



Pakistani musician (singer), painter, recently-turned Bollywood actor.
He's actually got a long list of credentials which I am faaaaaaaar to lazy to look up right now.
But yeah anyway.

I wuv him. :3

I don't care that he's Pakistani.
I mean.
Race/inter-country politics shouldn't stand in the way of appreciating good talent.

yeh.



Was originally going to post his song, Jhoom, today,
(in accordance with my post-one-Ali-Zafar-song-a-day resolution until I run out of songs I like)
but I stumbled upon this one instead,
and I've had it on repeat,

and well.

Its Christmas!

AND I'M ON HOLIDAY
(seriously you have no idea how happy I am right now)

so yeah.
Happy song!

Well, its actually a rock song but wtv.



F.U.N Fun Fanaa - Ali Zafar






I LOVE ALI ZAFAR'S VOICE I WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO MARRY IT AND MAKE BABIES WITH OK THXBYE.









I really should go sleep now.

Good night everybody!

Merry Christmas!

Happy Public Holiday!



yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!







~vid~

Hai.

So in my attempt to fix my layout while blogging via tablet,

I appear to have messed up the font.

again.

I'm sorry, I'm terribly OCD about what my fonts look like. :/

Maybe one of these days I'll change the template completely.
We've had this one for four years now. o.O

And to think when we started we didn't even think this blog was going to take off properly.

:D

ugh the font though.

It just looks retarded now.

OH OH OH.
BY THE WAY.
I AM ON HOLIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Here is a nice dance-y song to celebrate my start of hols.

:D

I less than three Ali Zafar so much I cannot even begin to explain.. (he's the guy in green by the way)

(also the guy who sang the song but that's just trivia)

In case I'm not in the mood to blog tomorrow,

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

:D

When I have kids I'm going to make Christmas an annual celebration.
I don't care that we're not Christian,

its just nice to believe in Santa Claus and get presents.

~vid~

Another Test Post

Okay another test post.
Looks like I have to code the html myself. -.-
Not cool, but unfortunately I'm not in the business of forking out money for apps, so...

~vid~

posted from Bloggeroid

Testing

Hai :D

This is me doing a test post, trying to see if I can blog from my tablet.

mm-hmm.

~vid~


EDIT : aaaargh so apparently I can't edit font, etc on the app. Lemme see if I can download a new app. sigh.

Meltdown

I think I'm going into a meltdown.

I am this close to losing it.
I can't stand another minute of medicine. I can't.

I don't want to go to uni tomorrow.

I don't want to attend class for the next five days.

I just want to run away right now. Right this minute and leave all of this behind.

I am sick of dealing with people and their bullshit about assignments.

I'm doing my share of the work, why can't you?

Normally I would bear with it, for the sake of maintaining harmony,

but not today.

Fuck you.

Get your own work done.

Don't push it to me.

Other people have things to accomplish too, you're not the all-important one with a busy schedule.

Just. Fuck you.

I am sick of people.

~vid~

The Doctor's Out Tonight

I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name
like a fool at the top of my lungs
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright
but it's never enough
cause my echo, echo
is the only voice coming back
my shadow, shadow
is the only friend that I have

(Thanks to Jea Mie for introducing me to this song)


Youtube video of the song because I'm too lazy to load an mp3 file on imeem.
(does imeem still work? I haven't used it in years. ..literally)



Echo - Jason Walker





Also,
another video! This one's a parody, by students from Brown.
Its kinda funny.
I don't know how they go to medschool for 8 years. o.O





The Doctor's Out Tonight - Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University (Med School Parody)




~vid~

.

I don't know why I bother trying so hard when everyone around me doesn't give a shit anyway.

Angst.

Last emo post for awhile, I promise.





~vid~

Too late

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star
you're actually a few million years late.
that star is dead
just like your dreams


Got that excerpt off tumblr, not sure who the original author is.



I'm just in the mood to lounge around and feel sorry for myself.
Don't mind me.

I really just want to go back to bed,
and not have to deal with the world today.

But no, life must go on, and you must be present for it every day. Without fail. For as long as you're alive.
If only we could skip life on certain days the way we skip classes eh?


~vid~

Yet Another Emotional Post

And the ridiculous post is sidelined yet again.

Might write it later once my assignments are done (if I write it at all. ahem)

There's something that's been bugging me for quite awhile, really.

I feel.

Unloved.

Unimportant.

In my own home.

Its quite sad really.

I come home, all they want me to do is help with the cooking/cleaning/etc etc because thats a girl's job, yeah.
I mean its not like we're living in the 21st century or anything where there's gender equality, right?

And to think, every weekend I run back home just to be able to rest and relax and feel loved.
I don't hate Seremban,
its just that clinical school gets to you sometimes,
and you just want to run back to a sanctuary where people genuinely care for you.

I'm not saying my family doesn't love me,

its just.

They're indifferent, most of the time.

They just don't care.

I can come back home,
completely worn out to the point I'm practically collapsing with sleep,

and they're just like "you want to sleep NOW?"

Or I can be having the worst migraine in the history of the universe,
or an ache in my leg,

or a stomach ache,

or any damn illness really,

and they're just "you're a medical student, you know what medicine to take"

I mean, yes, I DO know what medicine to take,

but I'm human too!

Sometimes all I want is a hug,

or at least a pat on the head,

and some indication that someone cares that I'm not feeling well.

I quote Alex Day : "I just want a cuddle and someone to tell me I've been a brave lil' soldier"

And oddly enough,

nowadays,

the only place I get that from is in Seremban. Back in clinical school, where I'm surrounded by medical people.

They care.

Because they go through the same thing too.

Its like there's a line separating pre-medschool and medschool.
Pre-medschool people cared if I got sick.
But now, nope. You're going to be a doctor, fix yourself.

Just because we're doctors/medical students doesn't mean we're invincible.

We bleed too, same as everyone else.

We hurt physically, too.

And bloody hell, we have emotions too!

And worst of all,

is when you come home all excited from something you've seen/heard in the clinics or the wards,

or some really neat procedure you helped out with or learnt to do,

sometimes you really want to talk about it.

Like "ohmygod I saw my first post-mortem! It was sooooo coooooool!"

(note : Post-mortems are really cool ok)

And no one cares.

They're either horrified,

or they just. don't. care.

Like, oh, you saw what? Oh okay. Cool. Lets talk about something else.

It hurts you know.

It hurts that people tune you out.

It hurts that I can be talking about how we had to give a patient CPR and I can just stop the story halfway and no one realises I haven't finished the story because they've all spaced out.

It hurts that a phone call, a tv show, chopping a fucking carrot can all be more important than your daughter telling you what happened in her life.

And then they complain that I don't tell them anything.

Really?

Maybe I should record our conversations, so you can play them back and realise that you've tuned out half of how my week went.

And its so unfair!

My brother's an engineer,

sometimes he comes back from work all excited about some distillation column or some boiler,

and half the time I have no idea what he's talking about,

but I listen.

I make the effort to actually sit and listen and understand what he's saying.

I ask questions to clarify things I don't get.

Why can't they do that for me?

I'm not speaking Greek here.

I've become so well-versed in layman terms because I have tried so hard to make it simple for my family to understand,

but they don't care.

And my non-medical friends don't care.

It's like I've become some alien being that can only properly communicate with other people in the medical field.

And its not like all of us med students sit around and discuss medicine.

We talk about movies, and music and politics and we bitch about random people,

same as everyone else in every other profession.

We're still normal people.

I'd always wanted to marry an engineer,

because everyone in my family is an engineer, and so I thought at least my future husband would fit in,

and I thought that marrying a doctor would be incredibly boring,

because then your whole life would be all about medicine, at work, at home..

but slowly, I'm beginning to realise the reason why so many doctors end up with doctors,

is because they're the only ones who really get you.

They're the only ones that understand that one some days all you want to do is curl up in bed and shut out the world,

that some days you really don't feel like going out and meeting up with people,

that some days you're going to come back from work excited about something that happened,

that some days you're going to want to sit them down and discuss specialization options.

I'm beginning to think I should marry a doctor, for my own sake.

For the sake of having someone who would both understand and care.

Because I'm slowly becoming invisible to everyone around me.
I'm just "the future doctor"

And that sucks.

~vid~

Evolution

Just went through some of my earliest posts on the blog,
gosh.
I sounded like a proper idiot back then.


4 years from now, I'm going to read all the posts I wrote this year and think I sounded like a proper idiot now too.

Evolution.


yep.


~vid~

Hurt

Was originally going to type out a ridiculous post today,
but there's something else I need to get off my chest or my head won't be clear enough to churn out posts worth reading.

I promised myself I wouldn't write about this on here,
or anywhere else, for that matter,
but I need to.
I need to get it out.

You're (and I mean you lot, you readers) probably not going to understand much of this post,
so it's probably better if you stopped reading here.
And so I'm going to put the rest of this post under Read More to save you the trouble of scrolling past it okay?

Waiting..

...for Episode 6 of OUAT to load.

IT LOADED.
I mean, just now.
IT LOADED,
THEN THIS STUPID VIDEOBB TELLS ME THAT I'VE ALREADY WATCHED 72 MINUTES SO I HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR.
WHICH IS BULLSHIT BECAUSE I WATCHED EP 5 AT 2PM AND THEN I WENT TO SLEEP SO THAT I COULD COME BACK AND LOAD EP 6 WITHOUT HAVING TO WAIT. UGH. WHY.


12 mins left to wait of the one hour.
I have apparently just spent 48 whole minutes grumbling in my head and staring at my laptop screen.



First week of Ophthalmo is almost over and I haven't actually learnt anything.
And I'm not studying either. I'm either writing random status-es on facebook or blogging here/tumblr in between episodes.
sigh.

We're going to PD tomorrow.
And K.Pilah on Friday.
And the boy isn't coming on Friday.
Normally I wouldn't have cared, but with all this awkwardness going on, its just nicer to have someone one your side around yeah.
I'll just have to be all awkward penguin on Friday by myself.
sighh.
Oh well.
Another week and then 2 whole months away from this trainwreck!


7 minutes to go.

In other news, I wouldn't mind marrying Max George's voice. :3



Oh oh, does anyone want to see my wallpaper?
(laptop wallpaper I mean)



I love love love love this man.
They honestly couldn't have chosen anyone who could play the part of Prince Charming better.



~vid~

Warzone

I throw my armour down
And leave the battleground
For the final time now
I know I'm running from a warzone



Warzone - The Wanted


askdjsjfhjsdfhafgh Nathan's voice in the beginning.


This song came out sometime ago, really.
The whole album did...sometime in November, I think.

Their music has matured somewhat from the first album. So proud of them :')
Love a couple of other songs on the album as well, haven't got around to listening to all the songs though. :(

Never got around to blogging about it either because I've been so busy.
I can't actually tell you what I've been so busy doing, because in retrospect I haven't been doing much at all,
but it's just the exhaustion and the frustration from the past one and a half years catching up.

Haven't had a proper holiday since September last year,
and lately with all the Diwali Nite drama I've just been forcing myself to wake up everyday and get on with life for the sake of it, and hang in there just a little bit longer until the holidays (ahem...I mean the selectives period *cough cough*)

Less than two weeks left!

Yay!


But then of course I'll spend the whole first week freaking out about the trip to Ireland.
I've never travelled alone in my life..
..no I'm lying, I have...but that was to JB and it was a one hour flight so it doesn't really count ok.
And I've never actually travelled out of Asia before,
so its like my first time ever flying long distance,
and I'm doing it alone.
o.O

Shit.

And I'm transit-ing in Amsterdam and its like holy shit what if I'm late and I miss the next plane or I get lost and don't know which gate to go to or..
I don't know.
I get lost very easily.
:/

And on the flight to Amsterdam...its like a 10 hour flight (I think)...or 13 hours or something.
I would need to pee.
o.o
I have honestly never considered the possibility of having to pee on a plane omg.
What if I don't find the bathroom.
Or.
I don't know.
I don't want to pee on the plane!

:|


AND AND after I land in Dublin omg what if I don't find the baggage reclaim and get stuck there for years,
or what if after I collect my baggage I don't know how to get out of the airport,
or what if I get out of the airport and don't know how to get to the bus station,
or what if I get to the bus station and don't get on the right bus,
or what if.
I don't know.
Can't think of any other worst case scenarios really.


Aaaaaaaaaah.


This is probably the longest blog post I've written in awhile.

I have to blog on Firefox, because seriously, I can NOT fix the font on Chrome.
-_-
But I have to use Chrome for everything else, because the resolution on Firefox sucks.
See.
People in developing countries have first world problems too ok.



I'm actually blogging while waiting for Episode 3 of Once Upon A Time to load.
:D
I'm addicted seriously why are there only seven episodes out so far :(


AND WHY ISN'T THIS WEEK'S HIMYM EPISODE OUT YET.
ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE US WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AFTER THAT HORRIBLE EPISODE LAST WEEK.
I STILL WON'T FORGIVE THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID LAST WEEK OMG WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO BLOODY SADDDDDD ARGH.




On another note,
I had no idea The Offspring sang Pretty Fly For A White Guy!

I think their music is growing on me :p




Andddd..yeah I've run out of things to rant on about.
I had more to say, really (I always have more to say) but I can't remember what I wanted to say.

oh well.

If I remember then you guys get another blog post! :D

(cheh wah like as though I'm some celeb blogger than people wait for new posts from me pfft)




OH AND I AM SO UPSET THAT I DIDN'T GET TO GO FOR RICHARD MARX'S CONCERT IN GENTING ON SUNDAY.
AAAAAAAAAAH.

Seriously.
I grew up listening to my brother play Right Here Waiting and Now and Forever on the piano.
Since I was like 4.
Mention Richard Marx, and I remember my childhood. :3

AND THEN THE MAN FREAKING COMES TO MALAYSIA AND I CAN'T GO BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO SAVE MONEY FOR IRELAND.
WHY.
WHYYYY.

:(




Alright, this really is it.
Toodles~!




~vid~

Once Upon A Time

Oh my god.

Watched the first episode of Once Upon A Time...

...

...

...I LIKE IT.

I REALLY LIKE IT.

Dammit now I'm going to be more distracted than ever.

Paige, if you're reading this, thank you for recommending!
I'm hooked :p


~vid~

You're not real

WHY IS THIS WEEK'S EP OF HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER SO SAD!?
WHYYYY.

They made us wait one extra week for this ep and they made it so sadddddd!
:'(

ESPECIALLY THE END WHEN SHE GOES "YOU'RE NOT REAL"

WHAT.
NO.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.


I am going to cry myself to sleep now ok bye.




~vid~



p.s. Corey Gray's voice is pure sex.

emotions

Allenge avalku endara iron cheyanne?

Every fucking weekend I keep house for you, and the one weekend where I'm losing my mind you can't iron a few extra clothes?

ugh.
Anger.
Frustration.
I need to scream.


~vid~

Eye-deep

Can we just cancel this whole trip?

I am this close to breaking down and crying.
But that wouldn't solve anything at all, would it?

~vid~

Of weddings

In other news,

I am marrying Ranveer Singh..






...who obviously approves of this idea..





...and you are all invited to our wedding kthxgoodnight.




(P.S PRAY I DON'T FAIL CLS TOMORROW.)


~vid~

Of pythons and elephants.

Actual quote from our CLS manual, verbatim.

The normal capnogram has the outline of an elephant swallowed by a python.

Yeah-huh.

On another note, took the stupid pre-test for the CLS thats on e-learning.
Got 30%.
BECAUSE none of the answers to the questions are actually in the manual.
Not in any one of the 73 freaking pages.

Passing mark is 80% though.

Excellent.




~vid~

Equal and Opposite

I saw leaves falling to the ground today and they were backlit by the sun, and I thought that it might just be the most beautiful thing I have yet seen, and I tried to find a line or word around which I could base a poem. But nothing came. And I kept watching the leaves and thinking about the utter perfection of every piece of that moment but still I couldn't find the words. And finally I decided it was a good thing maybe, to not have words sometimes, because we don't live in words, but in paper cuts and water bottles and fingerprints; in orgasms and rust and loneliness and mirrors and dirty laundry. So I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the sun and breathed in and then out again because that's how those things go you know. Equal and opposite.

I don't know where that excerpt is from, but it's beautiful.


And now I really must get back to attempting to study the CLS manual.
Key word : attempting.


Meh.
Life.
Always gets in the way of stopping to smell the roses.
(not that I would bother stopping to smell the roses if I didn't have studying to do)

Oh the irony.





~vid~

End

Its been such a long year.

Just end.




Funny isnt it, how we think everything is just going to magically become better after the New Year.
Like you're finally going to be able to turn the last page of a horrible chapter and move on to a new one.

Life doesn't work like that, though, does it?

A chapter doesn't end until you move on from everything that's been holding you back in one place.
Just because the year ends doesn't mean the frustration does.



I have so much to write,
and no time to organise my thoughts into sentences that actually make sense.

This week.
I'll get it all out this week.




~vid~

Temper

Breathe in,
breathe out.

Count to ten.

I can handle this without losing my temper.



~vid~

I'm back! (and so is my laptop)

I have been abandoning this blog again.
Sigh. :(

Been so hectic these past few weeks, plus I've gotten my Samsung tablet,
so makes more sense to go check facebook and twitter on that instead of switching my laptop on.
Not as fun to blog on tablet though, which explains why I haven't been blogging.

Diwali Nite is over.

Finally.

FINALLY.

Ugh so much drama.

Won't talk about all that today. Might talk about it sometime later on, or maybe not at all.
We'll see.

I just kept having so many "I-told-you-so" moments in the last week leading up to Diwali Nite it wasn't even funny.
And it hurt a little bit that the lecturers didn't turn up.

Nor the HTJ staff.

Although come to think of it, I'm not sure the people from HTJ were properly invited, but that's a whole different story.
The lecturers not turning up was kind of upsetting though...its like damn syok sendiri, we went to so much effort to put up the whole show...for ourselves.

Finally got my laptop back,

all my files have been renamed as "Recovered File" and is stored in my D drive.
Its going to be hell sorting through all that and seeing what is what.

Oh well.

Gotta be done.

Would've continued using my mum's laptop, but now that one's conged out instead.

Whoops.

Hate how the resolution on Firefox changes after you reformat though.
Oh well.

We move on to Google Chrome then!
Kind of sad. I miss Firefox.

Well yes,

this was an obligatory update post.

I will try to blog more during the week.

Lots of emotional crap I need to get of my system (again).

I seem to be doing this quite constantly, eh?

Have emotional crap...vomit it all out on the blog.

Oh well, at least its a cheap form of therapy.

:D

~vid~