10 weeks to go!

[EDIT : I actually wrote this on Monday but we didn't have internet so...]

Roar.

So we’re back in Batu Pahat after a wonderful one-week break.
And if that wasn’t depressing enough,
we came back to find that power had tripped sometime during the last week…which you know, meant that we came back to a fridge full of spoilt food.
Had to throw EVERYTHING away and wash the fridge. Ugh.
What a welcome home.

And then, someone forgot to unplug the router when we left last last week, and so during whichever epic thunderstorm occurred during the one week we weren’t here,
our router got fried.
Which means we have no internet.

ARGH.

Of course I’m blogging right now because it’s when I have no Internet that I get a sudden inane urge to blog.

Planning to write this out on MSWord and plug my laptop to the LAN line and publish this in a bit.

Our LAN line is still working thank god.
But it’s in someone else’s room, which means, to use the Internet, I would have to annoy aforesaid someone.

Meh.

In other news, I have a new laptop!
My old one decided to die on me again, and this time instead of repairing the motherboard or whatnot, I decided to just get a new laptop once and for all.
I’ve had the other one for more than three years.
My new one is an Ultrabook – ultrathin yo! But it doesn’t have a DVD writer, so I had to buy an external one. Well.
It’s a Lenovo – and at first it was horribly annoying because Lenovo has this Intelligent Touchpad function :
basically you just swipe your fingers in a certain direction across the touchpad to bring up Quick Notes or (and this is the weird one) to change the Desktop background.
Why you would need a shortcut to change the Desktop background I really do not know.
And along with the swiping functions, there were hotkeys for both.
And the one to change the desktop wallpaper was Ctrl+Shift+T.
-_-
For those of you who don’t know already, pressing Ctrl, Shit and T together opens up recently closed tabs on your browser window (try it!).
So there I was, trying to open an accidentally closed tab, and I found myself facing a picture of a Koala instead (apparently my laptop thought I should change my desktop background to a koala for some odd reason omg).
Had to delete the entire Intelligent Touchpad application just to get rid of that one function (because I’m a noob and I don’t know how to change scripts to disable the Intelligent Touchpad)

But all in all, I’m quite happy with this laptop.
So light! And shiny *_*
And everything is in HD OMG HOW DID I EVER LIVE WITH MY OLD ONE AND ITS LESS-THAN-WONDERFUL RESOLUTION.

I GET TO WATCH VARUN DHAWAN INTERVIEWS IN HD ASKSFKJGHDH.

Yes.

That was obviously my very first priority when I got my new laptop – watch Varun Dhawan interviews because I’m obviously going to realise my dream of marrying him someday.
Totally.

Had the week off last week because IMU decided to be nice and give us a mid-sem break.
I’m currently on the other side of the middle of the semester.
(that sounded weird, but you get what I mean)
10 more weeks of medschool left!

I know I should be excited – aren’t people always excited to graduate?
but right now I’m just terrified.
I don’t want to graduate.
I don’t want to work as a doctor.
I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.

Five years ago, I couldn’t wait to step out into the world and be independent.
To start realizing all my ambitions.
To start living my own life on my own terms.
(and all that other clichéd rubbish)

Today, thanks to the most gruelling 2 years of clinical school -  I am more than ready to get married, and settle down and be a housewife.

I can’t even be bothered with my ambitions anymore.
I’m done.
I’m tired.
I’m so, so tired. I don’t know why I’m tired, but I am.
(maybe this is what depression feels like)
Spent the whole of last week (and a few weekends before that) cooking and cooking in preparation for Diwali (which was last Tuesday btw), and after Diwali ended I realized that I actually liked doing things around the house.
I like cooking.
I like looking after people.
I would probably be okay with being a stay-at-home wife, and later on a stay-at-home mum.

Five years ago, I would have scoffed at the idea – I was too independent and strong-willed to even consider not having a proper job or staying at home.
Today I’m beginning to think its not that bad an option.
I’m completely serious about it too.

I’m done.

I can’t do this medicine thing for another decade.
I can’t even bear the idea of having to go through two years of housemanship.

Aaaaah.

And yet, life goes on.

At the risk of sounding horribly morbid,
if the world ended on Dec 21^st this year – I’d die happy.

I’m not looking forward to the future at all.

Roar.

Obs/Gynae starts tomorrow!
Maybe after I go deliver a few babies I’d appreciate life again. Or not.

HOW TO DELIVER BABIES OMG WHAT IF I DROP THEM OR SOMETHING THEY’RE SO SLIMY WHEN THEY COME OUT.
AHHHH.

Well.
Has to be done.
Bless you poor babies that I will have to deliver at some point in the coming five weeks.

My English is weird in this post because I’ve spent most of the last week talking in Malayalam or Hindi and I can’t formulate my thoughts in English at the moment.

Roar.

Ok bye.

~vid~