Of Panic Attacks

Actually full-on freaking out now.

Just realized I have wasted 3 whole weeks in which I could have been studying.
THREE weeks.
Shit.

I actually don't know what I've been doing with myself these past few weeks, to be honest.
There are significant gaps in my memory.
:|

And now I have just 7 days in which to study everything under the sun (in medicine) AND read through my portfolios again!
ugh.
Should have at least read through them portfolios sooner.

Should have, should have. 
My whole life is a really long list of should haves.


Nervous as hell now.
If I open a textbook and skim through, its like I already know everything, 
but once I close it - ask me anything, and I wouldn't know the answer.

And holy crap having to face 6 examiners on the day itself!
I am going to dieeeee.
Or make a fool of myself.
...both, probably.


7 more days.
I don't want the exams to come at all, 
and yet I can't wait to be done with it! 
Hopefully I do pass. :/



Haven't even unpacked any of my things yet - just been feeling really unsettled the past three weeks.
Like I'm not sure whether I should set down roots in my own house yet or not.
Leaving everything for after exams.
(at the rate I'm going, I'll be leaving the studying for after exams too)


And it looks like you'll be right, Michelle. I probably won't get my holiday. :(


Pray for me, my dears.
Pray that somehow, within the next one week, I find that motivation to actually sit and study!




What am I doing with my life?



~vid~