The To-Do List

I'm going to write out a list of all the things I want to do after exams.



Partly because after the exams are over I won't remember any of it, and then I'll laze around and waste my holidays and regret it horribly once the new semester starts,

but also partly because I'm so sick of trying to study and I keep thinking of all the things I want to do instead, but can't because there's an immense amount of things I have yet left to read through.


Its so frustrating.
It takes forever just to read a couple of chapters and none of it stays in my head!
I can't even remember what I read last week, much less what I've studied during semester.

And I keep asking myself, WHY DIDN'T YOU STUDY EARLIER,
but then I look back,
and I have studied.
I've had a good semester. I've played hard ...in terms of drama series and movies, but I've also studied really hard.

I think you can judge by the amount I've blogged since starting this semester...there are what, 30-odd posts (which is usually what I'd have written in the space of a month previously)

And everytime I open a book, its like I know all this stuff already!

And I do.
I know most of it.
But I don't remember.

And there's always this one moment of sheer 'blankness' when I'm asked a question or when I see a question on a test paper.
I guess its just nerves,
but its also the sheer frustration of having studied so hard and not being able to remember any of it.

Sigh.
Medicine, why you so volatile?



Right.
Anyway,
So this post was supposed to be about the to-do list.

Vidya's List of Things To Do After Exams

1. Learn to play the guitar PROPERLY.
2. Bake red velvet cupcakes. Just because.
3. Watch all the movies/series I've been putting off :

• Game of Thrones Season 2
• Suits
• 50/50
• Mysterious Skin
• Prometheus
• Brave
• Hollow Crown

....cant think of any more atm
4. Start running again.
5. Learn to play the Downton Abbey Suite and some of the Spiderman OST on the piano.
6. OH. Learn to play Jarrod Radnich's version of the Pirates of The Caribbean on the piano.
7. Finally order the "leisure-reading" medicine books I want.
8. Get around to reading my Artemis Fowl book so I can buy the latest installation of it and read that too.

I'm pretty sure there were more things I want to do, but I remember any more of it.
My brain is failing me.



Please God, let me pass this exam.

I feel like I'm sitting on a pendulum.
Half of the time I'm like "Please God, let me pass eventhough I've played the fool and I don't really know anything much but please let me pass and I'll do better the next time"
and the other half of the time I'm just "Please God, let me pass. I've worked my heart out, I deserve to pass right? Please God, please"



Losing it for real this time.
The Bwoy and I have decided we definitely need anxiolytics before the exam, and pretty soon we're going to need anti-psychotics as well.

Apparently, according to the First Aid psych book, they prescribe beta-blockers for performance anxiety.
I have a vague recollection of a certain Int Med doctor mentioning this during class.
Said it takes two month to reach a steady state though.
Dammit.

Anxiolytics it is then.


(I'm kidding I'm not going to self-medicate on psychiatric drugs)



Here.
Have a Justin Bieber video to brighten up your day after reading my depressing post.




~vid~

His only crime was that he loved me.

I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, prosperous and happy;
I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of their descendants hence.
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.



I FLAT OUT SQUEALED IN THE CINEMA WHEN I HEARD THIS LINE AT THE END OF THE DARK KNIGHT RISES.

It's like Christopher Nolan just decided to go like "okay so I have the most awesome superhero movie in the history of forever...how can I make it better? Oh I know, I'LL JUST THROW SOME CHARLES DICKENS IN THERE"

I went to watch a Batman movie,
and came back with all my Sydney feels in full force. WHAT IS THIS.

And now I have Christian Bale, Tom Hardy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (you perfect human being, you) feels too.
Damn you, Chris Nolan. If you're going to refuse to make more Batman movies THEN YOU DON'T GET TO DO SUCH AN AMAZING JOB ON THIS LAST ONE.



And.
Christian Bale is Batman okay.


I never had CBale feels for any other movie, but this movie was just.
askldsjdjfghsgh.
I think its because he had more character expansion (is that how you put it?) in this movie.
On the whole, I liked The Dark Knight better as a movie, but I liked CBale better in this one.
Does that make sense?


Anne Hathaway (despite my hatwithapassionred of her) was definitely tolerable in this movie.
No, I'll be honest...I actually quite liked her in this movie.
Definitely convincing as Catwoman.






Tom Hardy was an excellent Bane.
Excellent.
Heath's Joker was still the best villain imo (bit difficult to top that tbh),
but Tom Hardy was wonderful.


And at the end I got Bane feels too. Dammit.
I have a huge thing for tortured, misunderstood villains who have emotional motives behind their villainy okay.



AND JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT.
I had major Arthur feels after Inception but in this one...
HOW.
HOW is it possible to be so adorable, and puppy-dog-eyed, and lovable and yet so downright sexy all at the same time?
Angsty JGL is my favourite okay.


Detective John Blake, would you marry me?
(I have to be the world's most unabashed fangirl)
AND THE ENDING ASXKLSJFSDGFSH. SO MANY FEELS.


(I really don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet BUT HE'S NOT ROBIN KTHXBAI)
I'm going to link you guys to an article that explains this much better :
(at least it's written without all the fangirling that would have been in it if I'd attempted to write it. ahem)

Don't click on it if you haven't watched TDKR.
If you haven't, and you still want to click on it, don't blame me for spoiling the movie for you. You brought that on yourselves.

There you go : http://www.forbes.com/sites/markhughes/2012/07/26/the-meaning-of-joseph-gordon-levitts-fate-in-the-dark-knight-rises-spoilers/

I don't completely agree with the article though, I think he might become another character,
but that is speculation to be left for after my exams.

Pretty JGL, just because :








On another note,
WHAT ON EARTH WAS AIDAN GILLEN DOING IN THIS MOVIE.

And Cillian Murphy.
(I laughed when I saw him I'm sorry)






I'm just writing this blog post so I can get all this out of my system so I can uhm. get back to studying.
Didn't study at all yesterday on account of my brain screaming "MORE BATMAN MORE BATMAN" every time I opened my textbook.




I'll admit, when everyone was going "TDKR is so much better than Avengers"
I was like hah. yeah rightttt.
(I'm sorry I doubted you Chris Nolan)

The Dark Knight Rises is better than Avengers.

I had more squeal-y moments during the Avengers, I'll admit,
and I still love it, and everybody in it,
but TDKR is awesome on a completely different level altogether.

Plus Chris Nolan.

so.

yesh.









Okay.
Back to pelvic organ prolapses!
Because studying about how your organs fall out of your body is so fun.

I should've gone to film school.





~vid~



p.s. Loki bb, I love you, I really do, but I'm afraid Detective John Blake has stolen my heart. :3

p.s.2 This is a very pretty wallpaper (that I did not make, all credit to the person who did)

Random conversation #122136

I AM NOT STUDYING WHY AM I NOT STUDYING HELPPP.

Also been having this absolutely wretched flu the past few days and all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleeeeeep.

ugh.





Was having a conversation with my brother about how Malaysia is becoming increasingly unsafe nowadays,
what with all the reports of ladies being robbed/abducted in car parks,
and handbag-snatching at traffic lights and all that.

So he was telling me to get rid of the teddy bears in my car.

TheBrother : People see teddy bears all over the dashboard, they're going to know it's a girl's car you know.

Me : ....I suppose you're right, but..

TheBrother : It's really just inviting trouble.

Me : Ok.

TheBrother : And they're projectiles! If you brake suddenly, they're going to come flying right at you!

Me : ...huh. That's also true.

TheBrother : PLUS...you never know when they're going to turn around and say hi to you while you're driving.

Me :

TheBrother :

Me :

TheBrother :

Me : WHAT.




...

I should just have a blog dedicated to the ridiculous conversations I have with my brother.







On a completely different note,
It has come to my attention (cheh) that the Twitter incident has reached the whole batch now.

Ok.

And from what I understand you lot have a really twisted idea of what's been happening.

So.
I've decided, once EOS is over, and if I pass,
I shall write about it here.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

You'd have more fodder for gossip!







I still don't get why everyone's decided to get all uptight about the whole thing.
Its not like any of you were actually included in any of it.

But whatevs, whatevs.





~vid~

Eos.

Sometimes I think my parents forced me into medicine just so they could have an in-house doctor.


A week and a half to EOS.
3 weeks to freedom.

Please God, let me pass.
Please.
I cannot do this all over again.



One of our lecturers (since I have to be all cryptic now and not mention names) :
"This is your final exams, you know. For those of you who haven't realised it, this is IT. The next 6 months, if you pass, will just be for practice"

Sure.
Pile on the pressure, why don't you.





So much to study and I don't know where to start.





So tired.





~vid~

Exams!

Tiptoes round the corner
Sneaks up bit by bit
Peers over your shoulder
Exams!

So unprepared
Nervous
Scared
Forgotten all about the
Exams!

Bolt the door!
Latch the windows!
Keep it out, don't let it in
Close your eyes, cover your ears,
we'll pretend we didn't know about
Exams!

But it seeps in through the walls
Settles in your skin
Oh the tension of it all
Exams!

There's nowhere to run
We'll have to fight our way through
So pull your battle gear on
to face the
Exams!

(vidya pillai)

Look how hard I'm studying for EOS.
-_-

Not the best thing I've written by a long shot,
but it was one of those irritating things that kept dancing around in my head and wouldn't leave me in peace until I'd gotten it all down on paper.

Can't be bothered to prettify it,
so you'll have to love it or hate it in all its shabby, unedited glory.



hah.

~vid~

Lost.

Too hurt to even cry this year.

Another 2-year wait for the World Cup.
And more of the people I love will have retired.



I wanted so badly for Ballack to be part of the squad that won a tournament.
Hurt so much when that didn't happen.
I want the same for Schweini.
But.



ugh.
Fucking Mario Balotelli.
Like we didn't hate him enough already.





What is with football this year and last-minute hopes only to have them all crash down around your ears?

I can't.




~vid~

Well.

In Radiology now.
4 weeks of Gynae have passed by just like that.

Alot to write about, but I don't quite know where to start.

Got involved in some huge drama last week that made me realize that whatever I post on the Internet isn't quite private,
on account of there being people free enough to apparently google our names and end up at our twitter accounts.
Apparently this blog also turns up in the search results, so if any of you are reading this right now...
-_-
(seriously, get a life)


Considered making this blog private,
but.
no.
I never wanted it private.
And I've lived 5 years almost with it being completely public, and I'm not going to change my settings now just because of a select group of people.
I never wanted my twitter account private either, so it annoys the crap out of me tbh.
But oh well,
if anyone really wants to RT me, they know how to.



Also,
We lost the baby.
Been two weeks since we've known but I can't talk about it just yet.







~vid~

Iron Baby

So its 3am, and my brother wanted to know,

"if we hold like, a huge magnet to the side of her (his wife's) stomach, will the magnetic field encourage the baby to implant faster?"

...

ASLKSFJFHDSFHKDFJDGH YOUR BABY IS NOT MADE OF METAL YOU NUT.

MAGNETIC FIELD. ASKJHJFSHFGH.




...that was my news by the way.
That was what I was so excited about last weekend.

My sister-in-law is pregnant!
They're having a baaaaaby!
:3

Still only 3 weeks, and apparently the fetus hasn't quite settled down yet,
(hence the magnet question)
so we're all just praying and hoping.



Gah.
I'm so excited.
I'm going to be an aunt!




Also, in spirit of almost-fatherhood, my brother decided to be an absolute idiot earlier and steal my Pinkie.

TheIdiotBrother : Nitz! I think your Pinkie needs hip replacements. And knee replacements. Look! He can't stand!

Me : NO HE DOESN'T GIVE HIM BACK.

TheIdiotBrother : And he doesn't have a mouth. Didn't that ever give you nightmares as a child?

Me : What? No. AND HE HAS A MOUTH GIVE HIM BACK.

TheIdiotBrother : No he doesn't. Oh wait it's that bit here...what's it called? What's it called, Ma?

Mum : Cleft lip.

Me : NO.

TheIdiotBrother : Ah yes, that. See! Pinkie has cleft lip. You didn't give Pinkie folic acid!

Me : OHMYGOD. Maaaaa, look at him!

Mum : I've been looking at him for the past 31 years. (-___-)

Me : MA YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

TheIdiotBrother : OHMYGOD NITZ WHERE'S PINKIE'S TAIL!?

Me : HE DOESN'T HAVE A TAIL NOW GIVE. HIM. BACK. *grabs Pinkie* I hope you don't do this to your child.

TheIdiotBrother : No, of course not. My child will have proper legs to stand and a mouth and a tail.

Me : I didn't mean your child, I meant his to...WAIT DID YOU SAY-

TheIdiotBrother : NO TAIL NO TAIL NO TAIL.

And then my dad yells across the hall to tell us all to shut up because our shouting is distracting him from the tv.

-_-




I live in a madhouse.

I pity the baby. He's going to grow up just as mad.
Either that, or my brother is going to feed him some experimental serum and turn him into a mutant superhero.





Also, every baby is a he until proven otherwise.
At least in my head.
ok.




~vid~

Snow White and The Huntsman

First off...do NOT judge me for watching SWaTH.
The only movies available today were Prometheus and this, and we really wanted to watch a movie.

I want to watch Prometheus very badly too (Fassikins!), but.
I really needed to laugh ok.
And this was bound to be hilarious for all the wrong reasons.

CHRIS HEMSWORTH IS SUCH A BIG ADORABLE TEDDY BEARRRRRRR :3

I have alot of Hemsworth feels after Snow White and the Huntsman.
So comels!
So so so adorable.
Best character in the movie imo.



(I'm about to try and write about it without spoiling it for whoever hasn't watched it yet, but you're welcome to stop reading right here)




Charlize Theron was annoying as hell.
The guy playing her brother...oh my god I just wanted him to keel over and DIE.

Kirsten Stewart was. well.
as constipated as ever.
And horny at the most inappropriate moments.

And there was absolutely no reason for William to be in the movie.



And there were so many "inspirations" from other movies...
1) Dementor's Kiss, anyone? And Dementors in the forest!
2) Epic LOTR flashback while they were hiking across the mountains
3) White Stag version of Aslan?

tskkk.


Very poor editing as well.
I thought the fight scenes should have been shot better (too close-up!),
and the fairy-world scenes were too drawn out.

And the random voodoo evil queen scenes didn't seem to make any sense/fit in with the rest of the story.
And so much unnecessary sexual tension.
So weird.





But we laughed ourselves silly through it.
(which was the point...I think the rest of the cinema thought we were drunk or something.
Plus, The Boy decided to have a moment in the car park where he just yelled out FINNNNNNN! a la Charlize Theron, which probably convinced everyone that we were drunk)
(we weren't)




Oh.
And (spoiler!)
the bit where Charlize Theron yells "ON YOUR KNEES!" to the Huntsman,
all I could think of was
THOR'S KNEELING! WHERE'S LOKI WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

ahem.

Oh oh oh and fav scene :
When William is trying to revive Snow White with true love's kiss, and Chris Hemsworth (what IS his name in the movie? ...besides Huntsman) is just hovering around being all awkwarddddd.

AWKWARD HEMSWORTH IS SO COMELS.



Chris Hemsworth just keeps growing on me.
Such a bb. :3
Although I wish they'd try him in a role that didn't require long hair. He's adorbz with short hair.



But for now, fluffy long-haired Hemsworth!




I'm sorry, I'm on a high from too much laughing at that ridiculous excuse for a movie.
What made it even funnier was that it tried,
it tried to be all dark, and intense and serious.

But Kirsten Stewart!

How could we not laugh?





~vid~

Joy

There are some moments in life where you wonder if it's actually possible to die of happiness.

My heart is so full, it's spilling over.
I'm about to cry.

We have such good news, but I can't reveal it just yet.
Maybe next weekend,
but oh.

I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life.




~vid~