Scared of What The Future Brings

My mother’s started her matchmaking again.
(see? Most of my personality traits have been passed through my family for generations :p. But I digress)
Only this time, its for…my brother.
O_O

Now that, is scary.
I don’t know why, but its really difficult for me to accept that my brother is going to get married soon.
I mean, not just yet lah, they haven’t found a girl or anything.
But theyre looking, and all it will take is for both my brother and the girl to say yes, and the next thing you know, they’d be married.
Esp cos this time we’re the boy’s side summore, we don’t have any major preparations to do for the wedding.
We’d just go there, get him married, then he’d bring his bride home. Fullstop.
Unlike all the previous weddings in my family, where we were always the girl’s side.

It was easy for me to accept my cousins getting married.
But now that its my brother’s turn, I don’t feel so comfortable about it.
I’m not as excited as I was for my cousins.
I’m worried. I’m nervous.
(My brother getting married, very important for ME to get all anxious rite? Sometimes I don’t understand myself)

I don’t know lah.
I think rite, for my cousins, it was easier, because at the end of the day, I don’t live with them.
I just visit them during holidays and all. And during those short visits, its ok to accept another person there.
Just another dysfunctional addition to our already dysfunctional family.
But if its my brother, I mean…after he gets married, from then on, everytime he comes home, there’s going to be another person coming with him.
And he’s going to start belonging to another family also.
He’s going to have in-laws.
I’m going to have another sister. And I suppose those in-laws become mine also.
*makes a face*

And its going to be even harder because no matter how nice his wife is, no matter how well she fits in with our family, some thing are just not going to be the same anymore.
No more fighting over who gets to sit nearer our mummy when we want to watch TV.
No more arguing over who gets to sit on which part of the kitchen table when our mum is cooking.
No more packing for him when he wants to go back.
No more making sure all his clothes and things are in order.
No more sitting with him when he eats breakfast (he gets up late, so everyone else would have finished hours ago) just because he hates eating alone.

Nope. Once he gets married, someone else get all those responsibilities.
Someone else gets to do all that…all that I’ve been doing for years…all those that has already become reflex, not even habit.
I’m so used to being one of the most important people in his life.
And soon that has to change. o.o

(Walao. Emo sial this post.)

But then right, I guess what scares me most is IF his wife-to-be turns out to be some evil witch who estranges him from the family.
I understand that we have to make way, that she has to become the most important thing in his life…but what if she controls him and makes him hate his family or something?
*touchwood*
I shall have faith. And trust in my brother’s taste.

And THAT’S another thing!!
I’ve lived with this boy for 18 years.
I cannot imagine him getting married. Starting a family. Having kids. O_O
Don’t get me wrong…he is one of the most responsible people I know, BUT…he’s my brother!
I mean he’s already grown-up and everything, but I cannot imagine him being that grown-up.
Him having kids is beyond scary.

I'm being a bit too far-sighted, arent I?

Bleh.
I miss my brother.

~vid~