Demoralized

The emotional volcano I've been sitting on has been threatening to erupt for the past Idunnohowmany years.
And erupt it did, in all its messy glory...yesterday.


I knew I was messed up, but I guess I never knew I was this messed up.
Funnily enough, my mother agrees.


"You are one messed up child. I don't know why, but you are. And we have to fix that"

"What has happened to you in the past has scarred you badly whether you admit it or not. And I can't believe you walked around with all that baggage for all this time...why couldn't you tell us?"

"It would be really difficult for someone to be with you. You have alot to sort through with yourself before you can be stable enough to maintain a relationship. Don't break someone else's heart when you yourself aren't sure what you want"



She's right. I do have alot to sort through.
Maybe once I've cleared up everything I'd be less prone to mood swings and periods of extreme depression.
Maybe I'll be permanently happy, instead of feeling like I'm sitting on a pendulum and wondering when its going to swing the other way again.




...

But the last bit of what she said hurts the most.
Mostly because it hit home...hard.

Dammit I feel like crap now.


~vid~


p.s. this picture is very cool. courtesy of deviantart.