Tired and Fed Up. I want to go home.

I am annoyed.
They know I'm on a calorie-counting diet.
They know I'm trying to lose weight.
What annoys me to the maximum is that they know it. But still they make life difficult for me.

They're buying satay today.
For me.
I DONT WANT TO EAT SATAY.
But they're still buying it.
And if I don't eat, they'll say "We bought it for YOU, cos YOU like Satay".
I told you. I dont want it. Dont buy it for me.
-_____-
If I eat it, I will be set back again.
I've alredy been set back so much.

Its not easy to force myself to diet and exercise at the same time.
I am tired.
I miss chocolate and sweet stuff.
I miss ice-cream.
I am fed up of having to go jogging twice a day to burn off all that extra stuff they've been forcing me to eat.

I want a break.

I'm trying so hard.
Its not fair to mess up what I'm working on.
My parents can understand me. Why can't they?
Buying me satay is not going to make me happy.
You think I'm depriving myself?
You think you're helping me out by buying fattening food I like to eat?
Your're not.
You're just making everything harder.

Yes, I am deprived.
Which is making me cranky, and emo and depressed and very very irritable lately.
Setting me back on my goals isn't going to improve the situation at all.
You're just going to drive me mad.

I have become obsessed.
And obsessive people can be explosive.

~vid~